#but the reason i want it is there’s another quote by the same author i’m trying to track down
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scionshtola · 1 year ago
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trying to find a quote and my search terms are making tumblr check up on me 😭
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I am all for protective!robby, but I am in desperate need to see protective! reader. Like i need a fic of reader going full on protective mode. Like it could have to do with last night's episode, or maybe a patient attacks robby or something along those lines
Hurling Bedpans
main masterlist | the pitt masterlist
pairing: dr. michael robinavitch x female doctor!reader
rating: R for language
word count: 0.5k
warnings: language is a big one this time, sorry, got a little carried away because i too am protective of dr. robinavitch
author’s note: thank you so much for the request! hope this is what you were looking for <3
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Something about Robby’s demeanor made you want to shield him from the whole world, keep him safe from every ounce of heartache headed his way. So when a patient decided to get hostile and throw a dirty bedpan at him, you lost every bit of professionalism in you.
It started just like any other day; you and Robby always had the same shift because you asked the hospital for it. (You two carpooled to and from work every day because you lived together.)
“Patient in room four is asking for you,” you told Dr. Robinavitch. 
“What do they need?” he asked you. 
“He said he’s having stomach pains and would quote ‘like to see a real doctor for it’.” You used air quotes to make your point more dramatic. 
“I’m sorry he said that, he sounds like a misogynistic asshole,” Robby said.
“Yeah, but what else is new?” You shrugged. “Let’s have sushi for dinner tonight — you, me, sushi in front of the TV. It’ll be romantic.”
“Sounds like a plan,” he said, and gave you a quick kiss on the lips before leaving to help the patient.
This patient truly was the worst.
“Take that!” he shouted as he threw the filthy bedpan directly at Robby, dirtying his scrubs.
“What the fuck,” Robby sighed. “Seriously?”
“Oh no, you didn’t!” you exclaimed, fuming mad. “You did not just disrespect the best damn doctor in this godforsaken pit of dispair!”
“Excuse me, the men are talking, sweetheart,” he chuckled.
“Y/n–” Robby tried reasoning with you, but you wouldn’t have it.
“Listen here you misogynistic piece of human shit,” you started. “Dr. Michael Robiniavitch is here to help your sorry ass so if you don’t show him some motherfuckin’ respect I will have you escorted out of the building, kidney stones or no kidney stones.”
“Oh, please–” the man scoffed.
“No!” you shouted. “You do not get to fuck with Dr. Robby! If I catch even a hair of sarcasm coming from that disgusting mouth of yours I will have no choice but to ask security to beat the living shit out of you, you understand me?”
He finally understood the gravity of the situation. “Yes, ma’am. Sorry, doctor.”
“Good,” you breathed. “Now, would you like to have someone change your sheets? Cause if you’re gonna continue being an asshole I’ll leave you to sit in your own fucking feces.”
“Yes, ma’am, I’d like to have new sheets,” he gulped. “Sorry again.”
“You really shouldn’t talk to patients like that,” Robby said to you after you both left the room.
“Is that your way of saying thank you?”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I!” you protested. “Patients don’t get to hurl their shit at you and get away with it!”
“It’s gonna happen sometime or another.”
“Not to you,” you said. “As long as you’re with me, I’m not letting patients do shit like that, it’s messed up.”
“I guess you expect a thank you?”
“No, but I do hope you’ll let me help you get new scrubs.”
“Well… thank you.” He smiled down at you. “That was unprofessional as fuck, but it was really sweet.”
“Anything for you,” you said cheekily. He bent down and kissed you gently, both of you smiling softly against the other’s lips.
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rynwrites4fun · 5 days ago
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Love You Anyway (2) | Andrew Cody x Brother's Best Friend ! Reader
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Andrew Cody x F ! Brother’s Best Friend ! Reader
Summary: You and Deran ditch the rest of the school day, joining his brothers for an afternoon at the beach.
Word Count: 6657
Warnings: Nine-year age gap (late teens / late 20s) — Andrew Cody x reader are NOT together in the “Then” timeline, Violence/Physical Altercation, Injury (scrapes, bloody knuckle)
Author’s Notes: Hello! The amount of times I rewrote part 2 lol. I was like is this too much drama for the 2 part??? but then I was like you know what, fuck it bc the Cody’s are chaotic and end up in crazy shit a way, so be it! after the 1st part, I again scoured the depths of gifs to find young shawn hatosy (i saved a bunch so ya girl is prepared lol.) time to figure out the next part lol Enjoy - Ryn
(Someone yell at me bc I’m still only half way through season 2 🫣)
THEN: BEACH DAY, 2008
“Hey dork” Deran nudges your leg with his sneaker.
“Deran, I’m trying to focus,” you mutter, eyes locked on the open textbook in your lap, pencil tapping lightly against your thigh as you reread the same line for the third time. You were trying to plan out your essay for history class, gathering evidence and quotes for it.
Deran flops down beside you on the lawn, unwrapping a sandwich with zero concern for your concentration.
“What are you working on?” he asks, mouth full of sandwich.
“History paper. It’s due in a couple of weeks.”
He groans. “Can’t you just enjoy your lunch break? It’s called a break for a reason!” He shoots you a teasing grin. “You’re always trying to go above and beyond. Chill out for once.”
You roll your eyes, but your pencil stills in your hand. “Some of us actually want to pass.”
“Pff, You are passing,” he says through a bite. “You’ve got, like, straight A’s. You could fail one assignment and still graduate with honors or whatever”
You glance at him. “That’s not how it works.”
He swallows his bite. “It kind of is, though.”
You shake your head, eyes dropping back to your notebook. “I don’t want to barely make it. I want to do it right.”
Without a word, he reaches over and closes your textbook with one hand.
“Hey—”
He rummages through his bag, pulls out a wrinkled bag of chips, and tosses it onto your lap. “Here. Eat something. Be human.”
You huff, but you don’t toss them back.
His flip phone buzzes in his pocket, and he pulls it out with one hand, flipping it open like muscle memory. “Hello?” he says, already stuffing another bite of sandwich into his mouth.
There’s a pause. “Where?” he mumbles around the bread.
He stands up slowly, dusting crumbs off his jeans, phone still pressed to his ear. His brows draw together like whatever he just heard changed something.
He squints, glancing toward the front of the school. You turn to look, following his gaze—and there it is. Craig’s Jeep idling across the street, surfboards stacked crooked on the roof, Craig in the driver’s seat waving like an idiot. A breeze tugs at the palm trees lining the curb.
Deran hangs up and tucks the phone back into his pocket. That playful grin creeps across his face—the one you’ve learned to be very wary of.
“You up for the beach the rest of the afternoon?” he swinging his worn Jansport backpack over one shoulder like it weighs nothing
Your eyes go wide. “What? I’m not ditching.”
“Oh, come on,” Deran groans, dragging the word out with dramatic flair. “We’ve already survived half the day. Just two more periods. Let’s skip.”
He takes a step back like he’s daring you to follow, that familiar glint of mischief in his eyes.
“Ditching two periods won’t kill you,” he says, flashing that boyish, reckless smile. “Seriously, you need to get your head out of the books. Live a little! We’re only young once—might as well enjoy it while we can.”
You hesitate. “I don’t know…”
“Come on,” he grins, holding out his hand like it’s a promise
You stare at it for a moment, heart thudding. You shouldn’t. You never ditch. There’s still homework to finish, notes to organize, things you told yourself you’d get done today.
but what would really happen if you skipped—just this once?
Your fingers tighten around the chip bag. “I don’t even have a suit,” you mutter, almost like an excuse.
But you’re already rolling the bag closed.
You unzip your backpack, shove it inside along with your textbook, and zip it back up.
Then you take his hand.
As you stand and swing the bag over your shoulder, he’s already grinning.
“We can stop by the store,” he says. “I’ll buy you one. So… is that a yes?”
“Yeah I gue—woah!”
Before you can finish, he yanks you forward and the two of you take off, laughing as you run across the yard.
“Oh man,” Baz snickers, resting his arms along the edge of the truck bed.
“What?” Andrew asks, brows furrowing. He’s in the bed of Baz's truck, his shirt already half-stuck to his back from the heat. His sunglasses hanging on the back of his neck. He’s moving beach gear around, before yanking at the handle of the heavy cooler wedged between two chairs.
Baz jerks his chin toward the parking lot with that trademark grin of his. “Check it out.”
Andrew glances up, eyes following the direction of Baz’s nod. That’s when he sees Craig’s Jeep pulling in, kicking up dust as it turns into the spot across the aisle. The engine cuts, the doors swing open—and then you step out.
Hair tousled from the wind. Laughing at something Deran says as he hops out behind you.
Andrew’s grip tightens on the cooler handle. “What’s she doing here?”
Baz shrugs, barely hiding the smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Guess Deran finally got her to loosen up.”
​​The last time they saw you was a couple weeks ago, when Deran brought you over to the house for their party. Andrew had figured that would be the end of it—that Deran would keep you away, that his warning that night would stick.
But apparently not.
Andrew doesn’t respond. His jaw flexes, the muscle ticking as he looks away and yanks the cooler free with a sharp tug, setting it down a little harder than necessary on the sand-streaked tailgate.
You spot them, Baz by the truck, Andrew in the bed. You break away from Craig and Deran as they take surfboards down from the rack from the top of the jeep.
You head toward the truck, lifting a hand in a small wave. “Hey.”
Baz grins wider. “Well, well. If it isn’t the little angel herself, come to grace us with her presence.”
“Angel?” you questioned.
“Yep,” he says, completely unbothered. “My new nickname for you.”
You figured it had something to do with those girls at the party—the way they’d made jabs at you for not drinking, smoking, not doing anything “fun.” Like being the only one with a clear head made you some kind of saint.
Baz still clearly thought it was hilarious.
You should probably tell him to cut it out. But you didn’t. Mostly because you knew it wouldn’t matter—he’d call you that anyway. And really, there were worse things to be called.
Angel.
It wasn’t the worst label to have.
Behind him, Andrew jumps down from the bed of the truck, not saying a word yet—but his eyes don’t leave you.
Baz throws him a look, then grins like he can’t help himself. “Honestly, this is perfect. Pope and Angel—look at you two. Holiest pair in Oceanside.” Bad throws his arm around Andrew’s shoulder.
Andrew knew that all too well.
Pope.
That one had followed him for years—another Baz original. He’d started calling Andrew “Pope” back when he took an interest in religion when he was younger. “Pope Andrew,” he’d say with a grin, and eventually everyone else joined in.
So yeah. Angel was probably here to stay.
Andrew knocks Baez’s arm off him. He mutters under his breath, “Don’t start.” rolling his eyes as he holds the cooler.
“You need some help?” you ask, stepping closer.
“We’re fine,” he replies curtly.
Then he turns, squeezing between the cars without another word, heading down toward the beach—leaving you standing there with Baz.
Deran and Craig come up beside you, their surfboards slung under their arms.
“Ignore him. He’s in a mood,” he tells you, glancing over at Andrew like it’s nothing new.
You nod, trying to push the unease down.
“When he is never not in a mood” Baz scores, grabbing stuff from the bed of his truck.
Craig nods toward the ocean. “Waves are decent.”
“You up for a surf lesson later?” Deran asks.
You hesitate, eyes drifting to where Andrew disappeared—his back already turned, putting distance between you like he couldn’t get away fast enough.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Baz chimes in, half-grinning.
“She’ll be fine—she'll be with us,” Craig replies.
“So you down later?
Baz just shakes his head, muttering something under his breath as he’s down towards the beach.
“Yeah, I’m down,” you say.
“All right. Craig and I are gonna go out for a while. We’ll come back in and teach you”
You went to the public beach bathroom to change into the suit Deran bought you. A one-piece floral rashguard swimsuit with bright colors and a pattern.
When you got down to the beach, the brothers had gone in the water. Deran and Craig were cutting through the waves, loud and reckless as ever, while Baz waded in farther down the shore.
Andrew was just stepping out of the ocean, water streaming down his chest, board shorts clinging to his frame. He ran a hand over his wet curls, the sun catching the droplets on his skin. You didn’t feel anything for the Cody brothers—not like that—but you’d be lying if you said they weren’t attractive. Fit, sun-kissed, and so effortlessly at ease in their own skin.
Still, it was Andrew you couldn’t stop staring at. He wasn’t bulky, just solid—broad shoulders, defined lines, that quiet strength he carried without needing to show it off. He moved with a calm confidence, grabbing a towel and walking past you like you weren’t even there.
“You just gonna stand and stare all day?” he asked as he dropped into the chair beside the cooler, voice even, eyes fixed on the horizon—never once looking your way.
You blinked, caught, heat rising to your face. “I—I wasn’t… staring.”
“You seem pretty fixated,” he said, casually toweling off his hair, still not looking at you.
It unnerved you—the way he could read you so easily without even meeting your eyes. Like he knew exactly what you were thinking… and didn’t care.
“I wasn’t staring. Or fixated,” you muttered.
He raised his beer to his lips. “Sure.”
Just that. No teasing, no smugness. Just calm, flat certainty. And somehow, that made it worse.
Flustered, you dropped your things beside him and sank into the sand, brushing your hair back as a gust of wind came off the water. He still hadn’t looked at you.
You sat there beside him, the heat lingering on your face as you leaned over and grabbed the sunscreen sitting on top of Deran’s towel, squeezing some into your palm before rubbing it onto your face and legs.
You shifted, unsure. You didn’t know how to act around him—not after the last time you talked to him after their party a couple weeks ago, when he’d looked at you with that same unreadable face and told you you didn’t belong.
Andrew didn’t say anything else. Just drank his beer and let the silence settle.
It wasn’t uncomfortable for him—you could tell. He sat still, steady. He lived in quiet the way most people lived in noise.
“You’re not getting in?” he asked, breaking the silence.
“Later,” you said simply. “Deran and Craig are gonna teach me how to surf.”
He gave a slow nod, like he wasn’t surprised, then took another sip of his beer.
“Skipping school for surf lessons, huh? That’s one way to learn,” he said quietly, a hint of dry humor in his voice.
You shrugged, trying to play it cool. “Sometimes you gotta trade books for waves. ”
“That sounds like something Deran would say. Well, don’t let the waves wash away what little sense you’ve got left.”
“Yeah,” you answer, trying not to let his tone get under your skin.
“So you just do whatever Deran tells you now?”
“No…” you say slowly. “Deran didn’t make me ditch. He just… convinced me.”
Andrew scoffs under his breath, shaking his head like that’s somehow worse. “Yeah. That sounds about right.”
You glance at him, feeling the weight of his judgment. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He looks over at you, “I expected Deran to ditch…” Andrew says, voice low and a little rough around the edges. “You’re the last person I thought would skip school.”
You shrug, trying to play it off, even though your skin feels warmer under his stare. “Well, here I am.”
“Yeah…” he says, gaze lingering. “Here you are.”.
You could tell he had a problem with you being here. He didn’t say it outright, but it was clear—in the tone of his voice, in the way he carried himself. The vibe he gave off said it all.
“Look, I think we… got off on the wrong foot…at the party” you say, referencing the party from later weeks ago.
Andrew doesn’t even blink. “We didn’t get off on any foot. ”
“Really?” you say, the word sharper than you mean it to be. “Because we had been talking. You didn’t seem to have a problem with me then. And then suddenly you say I don't belong?”
Andrew’s expression doesn’t shift much, but his jaw tightens. That flicker of something crosses his face—guilt, maybe, or regret—but he doesn’t own up to it.
“You don’t,” he says, too flat, too fast.
The words land harder than you expect. You blink, once, trying to keep your face neutral.
“Wow. Okay. And you still don’t care to explain why?”
You cross your arms, not to look defiant, but because it’s the only thing keeping your hands from shaking.
He looks away again, like that’ll make it easier. “It’s not personal.”
You laugh, dry. “Could’ve fooled me.”
You shake your head, eyes narrowing. “You know, for someone who says they only talk ‘when it’s worth saying… when it matters,’funny how most of what you say just makes you sound like a complete asshole.”
He exhales, barely audible. “This isn’t about me being an asshole.”
“No?” you snap. “Because from where I’m standing, it feels a hell of a lot like it is.”
His eyes narrow slightly, but not in anger—more like restraint. “You don’t belong here. That’s not me being an asshole, that’s just the truth.”
“Right,” you say, your voice flat now. “Thanks for the reality check, Andrew. I appreciate it.”
“Whoa, what’s going on over here?” Baz’s voice cuts in as he saunters over, clearly amused. “having a little holy quarrel?” He grins, eyes flicking between you and Andrew.
You scoff “I get why you guys call him Pope now” you direct it to Baz as you stare at Andrew “—because all he does is sit back, observing everyone like he’s some higher power, judging them like he’s got us all figured out. Knows it all, full of wisdom, right? Oh, wise one.”
Andrew snaps back, quick and sharp. “You done?”
You clap your hands together. “In Jesus’ name I pray,” you say sweetly, your expression innocent for a half-second—then it shifts, hard. “A-fucking-men,” you spit, seething.
You push off the sand and head toward the water, leaving Andrew and Baz behind.
Andrew exhales a long, deep sigh.
Baz bursts out laughing. “What was that?”
He drops into the chair beside Andrew, still grinning, skin sun-warmed and hair tousled from the ocean. A few drops of water flick off his shoulder as he leans back, relaxed in that effortless way Baz always is.
Andrew doesn’t look at him. His eyes stay fixed on you as you enter the water, laughing with Deran as he comes back in from the surf. The sound of your laughter carries just enough to reach them.
“You ever seen him like that?” Baz asks quietly, nodding toward Deran.
Baz huffs a quiet laugh, almost fond. “He looks like a goddamn golden retriever.”
Their younger brother acted like a normal teenage kid when he was around you. Carefree, easygoing, laughing at dumb jokes or complaining about school like it actually mattered. Something he—Baz, even Craig—never really got to be. They’d had to grow up fast, too fast.
So did Deran, in his own way. But at least he got to experience some sense of normalcy. Maybe not much, and maybe not for long, but enough to remember what it feels like.
“She shouldn’t be here. She’s not supposed to be part of this,” Andrew mutters. “Not the beach. Not us. Not any of it.”
Deran lifts you into the air and spins you before dropping you into the waves. You pop up sputtering, laughing, and swat at him.
“Yeah?” Baz says, as he glances at Andrew’s expression. “It’s the beach, Pope. You trying to ban her from public sand now?”
Andrew doesn’t answer, and Baz lets out a soft breath, almost amused. He looks back toward the water. “Looks like it’s a little late for that.”
They watched you throw your arms up in mock defeat as Deran splashed you. You laugh, bright and unbothered, the kind of sound that didn’t belong anywhere near blood or secrets or guns tucked under beds.
“You know what I mean.”
“Relax. They’re just having fun. It’s not like Deran dragged her out on a job.”
Andrew’s jaw tightens. “That’s not the point.”
Baz raises a brow, still watching him. “You’re really wound up about this, huh?”
Baz shrugs. “She’s not around anything,” he says, voice even. “As long as Deran keeps her out of the real shit, she’ll be fine.”
Baz and Andrew continue to watch you and Deran in the water—Deran flicks water at you again, and you shriek, chasing after him now.
Andrew exhales slowly but says nothing, taking a sip of his beer.
Baz looks at him, eyes narrowing slightly. “Look, I don’t know what your motive is here. But you don’t owe her anything. She’s not your problem.”
Andrew’s eyes cut toward Baz, his jaw tight. “I’m aware she’s not my responsibility.”
Baz is unconvinced. “You say that, but you’re acting like she is.”
Andrew doesn’t respond, his gaze already drifting back toward the shoreline.
Baz, trying to ease the tension says “It’s a beach day, man. She’s not walking into anything but sand.”
Eventually, Craig came in from the surf, shaking water from his hair as he joined you and Deran.
“Ready for your lesson?”
Deran and Craig walked you back to shore, dropping their boards on the sand. They knelt beside you, demonstrating how to paddle out, find your balance, and pop up on the board. The waves crashed gently nearby, a steady rhythm in the background, and the sun warmed your skin as you listened closely, soaking in every word.
Deran leads the way, taking you out into the water while Craig stays on shore. You borrow Craig’s board, the smooth surface slippery under your hands. With Deran’s steady guidance, you paddle toward the waves, your heart racing with every push.
You catch a wave and manage to pop up—but your balance wobbles, and you fall back into the water. Deran grins, teasing but encouraging.
He then shows off a bit, cutting through the surf with ease, pulling off tricks that make you smile. His confidence pushes you to try again, determination growing with every attempt.
The sun is beginning to set, painting the sky with streaks of orange and pink. The two of you sit side by side on your boards, quiet except for the gentle lapping of the waves and the distant call of gulls overhead. The ocean stretches endlessly before you, glowing gold under the fading light.
You glance toward the beach. From out here, the shore looked far, but you could still make out Baz’s loud gestures as he talked with Craig, and Andrew—still, quiet, arms crossed—watching the water.
Watching you, maybe.
You weren’t sure.
The ocean rolled gently beneath your board, sun glinting off the surface.
“I don’t think your brothers like me all that much”
He doesn’t answer right away.
You glance over, and Deran’s still staring at the horizon, watching for a wave you could ride.
“They just don’t know you,” he says finally, voice low. “Not yet. They’ll come around”
You give a small, dry laugh. “Pretty sure they don’t want to. I mean Craig's fine, Baz tolerates me…But Andrew…he’s…”
He shakes his head, looking out toward the horizon again. “Complicated. Always has been.”
“That’s one word for it.”
“He doesn’t hate you, you know.”
You scoff “I beg to differ”
Deran wanted to tell you—wanted to explain what he saw that night at the party when he came back with your drink. The way you sat there, unflinching under Andrew’s stare, not afraid, not intimidated like most people were. How Andrew, for once, didn’t shut down or walk off. He stayed. He talked.
Andrew didn’t talk to people. He barely tolerated most of them. But he watched you. Listened when you spoke.
Deran saw it. And it stuck with him.
But now, with the two of you drifting in the water, the sun low and the world quiet, he doesn’t say any of that. Instead, a grin spreads across his face, that familiar spark lighting up his eyes as he spots something behind you.
“Alright, this is it! This is the one!” he says, pointing toward the rising swell.
You glance back. Your heart starts to pound, adrenaline rushing just in time to see the wave forming, growing taller as it rolls toward you.
“Paddle, paddle, paddle!” he shouts, and you both take off, cutting through the water side by side.
You dig your hands into the cool water, pushing forward with everything you’ve got. The wave lifts you, and you pop up, shaky but steady, balancing as the water rushes beneath your board. The salty spray hits your face. For a moment, it feels like you’re flying.
You hear Deran cheer behind you.
Then, suddenly, a voice cuts through the roar of the ocean: “Watch it!” The guy drops in right in front of you, and you gasp, startled. It all happens so fast—the board shifts beneath you, your balance lost.
You fall off, plunging into the cold water. Fear spikes in your chest as you surface, heart racing from the shock.
Deran calls out after you as he paddles toward you, worry clear in his voice. “Shit, are you okay? Are you hurt?”
“I’m fine!” you say, treading water and grabbing hold of the leash to pull your board closer. “That guy came out of nowhere!”
“He fucking dropped in on you, almost clipped you,” Deran snaps, anger flashing across his face.
He’s angry, really angry. There’s something fierce in his eyes, protective. His knuckles are white around the edge of his board as he steadies it near yours.
He’s got that look in his eyes—the one that says he’s about to do something reckless.
“Deran—” you start, voice uncertain.
But before you can get another word out, he turns and starts paddling hard toward shore.
You curse under your breath and paddle after him, heart racing again for a different reason now. You knew exactly what was coming. Deran was going to find that guy, and it wasn’t going to be pretty.
You and Deran drifted further down the beach during the last few sets, far from where the others were, and too far for them to notice what was about to happen.
Deran made it to shore, board tucked under his arm, his pace quick and determined as he stalked after the guy who was several feet ahead, heading toward the showers.
With what energy you had left, your board in arm, you pushed through the soft sand to catch up, your breath coming fast. The tension in the air was thick, and you could see the way Deran’s shoulders were squared, his jaw tight, his whole body humming with anger.
“Deran,” you called, just loud enough for him to hear, “let’s go back to your brothers.”
He didn’t slow down.
“I’m okay, Deran!”
“But that wasn’t okay!” he snapped, stopping suddenly and whipping around to face you. His eyes were blazing, chest rising and falling with every breath.
You caught up to him, stepping in front of him, your board still clutched tightly in your hand. “I’m fine! I wasn’t hurt! It’s not worth it! Don’t start anything, please!”
He stared at you for a second, jaw clenched, like he was holding something back—like he wanted to listen to you, but couldn’t let it go.
Then he turned without a word, storming off again toward the showers.
“No, I’m gonna fucking say something!” he snapped over his shoulder. “He shouldn’t have dropped in and cut you off like that! That was your wave! You could’ve gotten seriously hurt!”
His voice carried down the beach, sharp and heated, drawing the attention of a few people nearby. You hurried after him
“Deran don’t!” You protested.
The two of you made it to the showers. Deran propped his board along the public's restroom building, you did the same
“Dude, what the fuck?!” Deran shouts as he barrels up to the guy rinsing off at the showers.
The guy turns, startled, water still running down his back. “What’s your problem, man?”
“You’re my fucking problem,” Deran snaps, getting in his face. “You don’t snake someone like that—she had the wave. You nearly ran her over!”
“It’s a crowded break. Shit happens.”
“Watch we’re you’re fucking going dipshit!”
“Deran, let’s go!” You’re pulling Deran back when the guy mutters under his breath, just loud enough to be heard over the showers,
“Maybe she shouldn’t be out there if she doesn’t know what she’s doing.”
Deran freezes.
You feel it before he even moves—his whole body goes rigid, like a switch flipped.
“The fuck did you just say?” he growls, spinning back around.
The guy shrugs, a smug grin spreading across his face. “It’s not my fault she wiped out. If she can’t hold her line, maybe she shouldn’t be out here.”
That’s all it takes.
“Deran!”
They clash instantly—shoving, fists flying, raw fury spilling over. The scuffle spills from the showers toward the nearby parking lot. Dirt dust and some sand kick up beneath their feet, the sound of grunts and punches echoing off the pavement.
You move without thinking, rushing after them.
“Hey—!” you shout, trying to wedge yourself between them, hand outstretched.
But in the chaos, a wild backhand meant for Deran catches you across the face and you hit the asphalt.
“Shit!” Deran barked, breaking from the scuffle.
You barely registered the way your hands and knees were scraped raw from the ground, your vision blurred.
The guy stumbles back, hand half-raised like he can take it back. “Shit—I didn’t mean to—she got in the way—”
You blink through the sting as you sit up.
Deran drops to his knees beside you, hands gripping your shoulders, frantic and wide-eyed.
“Hey—hey, look at me,” he says quickly, voice tight. Then his expression shifts when he sees the blood at your temple. “Fuck—your head. Hold on.”
The guy stammers something under his breath and backs away fast, grabbing his board in a rush before turning and sprinting off.
“Hey—!” Deran half-rises, fury flashing through him, but he stops himself. He can’t leave you.
“Fuck!” he hisses, torn, but kneels back beside you, one hand hovering near your face like he’s afraid to touch you wrong.
Gently but urgently, Deran helped you to your feet, one arm steadying. He didn’t say anything else, just guided you back toward the beach where his brothers were, his steps quick, protective. The surfboards were forgotten, abandoned and left without a second thought.
Craig was the first to spot the two of you coming down towards them on the beach. Standing up from the spot in the sand.
“What the—?” he said, rising to his feet fast, his eyes locking on your face. “What the hell happened?”
Deran’s jaw was tight, his voice low but barely controlled. “She got hit,” he muttered. “Some prick surfer dropped in on her. When I confronted him, we swung—and she tried to get in the middle.”
All three brothers stood now, the shift in energy sharp and immediate—like a storm rolling in.
Baz shook his head, voice heavy with disbelief. “You started a fight with her there? What the hell were you thinking, Deran?”
“I was just—” Deran began, but you cut in quickly.
You take a breath, steadying yourself.
“Yeah, the guy hit me—accidentally. I got in the middle trying to stop it. So, it’s on me.”
You glance at Deran, then back to his brothers, trying to calm the growing tension.
“Deran was trying to protect me, even if he went about it the wrong way”
You shifted beside Deran, the air still thick. You’d tried to stop him. You knew he was acting out of instinct, maybe even out of fear, but that didn’t excuse it. You hadn’t needed saving. You were fine before all this.
Andrew stood still, jaw clenched, eyes dark and cold. He looked past you, like the anger was burning beneath the surface. “Well where’s the guy now?”
“Gone,” Deran snapped. “Ran off like a coward soon as he realized what he did.”
Craig and Baz exchanged a heavy sigh before groaning in frustration, the sound thick with exasperation and disbelief. Baz ran a hand through his tousled hair, while Craig’s arms crossed tightly over his chest, his jaw tight in silent irritation. Andrew’s fists clenched at his sides.
“What does he look like?” Andrew asked.
Deran described the guy who’d dropped in on you in the surf—his build and characteristics.
Andrew didn’t respond. He just stared at you for a long moment, eyes unreadable, jaw clenched tight.
At this moment you left like an inconvenience to all of them.
Baz shifted in the sand, glancing at Andrew with a knowing look. He could see it coming—what Andrew was about to do.
“I take her to the truck,” Baz said suddenly, cutting through the tension. He was already moving toward you, his voice more serious than usual. “Grab our shit and let's bounce.”
Craig and Deran nodded wordlessly and moved to gather the towels, cooler, and scattered gear.
Baz didn’t wait. He placed a hand gently on your back, steering you up the sand. “Come on, angel,” he murmured. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”
You sat on the tailgate of Baz’s truck, the cool metal pressing against your skin. He stood in front of you, his eyes focused and steady as he cleaned the cut on your temple, gently wiping the scrapes on your hands and knees with water from a bottle and the edge of his shirt.
“Well, good news—you don’t need stitches,” Baz said, glancing up at you. “It’s minor. Just bled a lot.”
“Do you feel dizzy or anything?”
“No, it just hurts”
You stayed quiet, your mind still reeling.
“You okay?” he asked.
Baz looked at you for a long moment, then wiped the last bit of blood from your skin. He tossed the bloodied shirt into the truck bed behind you.
“I told Deran I was fine,” you murmured. “Told him not to start anything.”
“Yeah, well… you know Deran. Fine doesn’t mean shit to him when he thinks someone messed with someone he cares about.”
He ripped open the bandage and gently pressed it to your temple, then stepped back, tossing the wrapper into the truck bed.
A few minutes later, Craig and Deran came walking up from the beach, arms full—towels, boards and the cooler.
“Where’s Pope?” Craig asked
Deran dropping the gear beside the truck. Craig set the cooler down beside the tailgate with a heavy thud.
Baz nodded behind them.
And then you saw him: Andrew. Walking quickly down the road toward the group, his pace steady like nothing out of the ordinary was happening.
“Where the hell did you—” Craig started, but stopped when his eyes landed on Andrew’s hands.
You felt your breath hitch, your eyes widening in shock. “Oh my god…” you muttered.
His knuckles were split and raw, streaks of red smeared across his skin, quickly becoming aware of what he had done.
He headed straight for the cooler beside you. He popped it open, grabbed a bottle of water, twisted the cap off, and poured it over his hands. The blood washed away in thin pink trails, disappearing into the dirt.
None of the brothers said anything.
They started moving again, business as usual—Craig and Deran went to strap the boards back onto the Jeep, Baz shook out the towels, acting like Andrew’s bloodied hands weren’t still dripping into the dirt.
But you stayed where you were, perched on the tailgate, watching him.
The water bottle hung loosely in his hand now, his other flexing and curling like the ache hadn't fully set in yet. His face was angry but something about the way he kept his head down, shoulders taut, made your skin prickle.
And something in your chest tightened.
He hadn’t said a word. Not to you. Not to anyone.
But you knew.
You didn’t know how you knew—but you were certain: the guy who dropped in on you out in the surf? Andrew found him. Andrew finished what Deran had started.
After a long moment, he looked up, his eyes locking with yours. His expression was angry—but you knew it wasn’t aimed at you.
“You okay?” he asked.
You hesitated, the answer caught somewhere between your chest and your throat.
“I… yeah,” you said quietly.
“Andrew…” you began, your eyebrows drawn together as you searched his eyes, your voice unsteady—unsure of what you were even trying to say. Grateful? Scared? Both?
He looked up after a long moment, eyes finding yours.
Andrew was angry.
It wasn’t because Deran started the fight with the surfer—or even because he did it for you. He understood that and probably would’ve done the same.
What bothered him was where it happened—in front of you.
He felt guilty, too. He’d warned Deran not to bring you around, but Deran hadn’t listened. He’d let his temper loose right there, reckless and stupid.
Still, Deran’s violence wasn’t the worst.
Deran had thrown punches, but Andrew? Andrew snapped.
When Deran brought you to the beach—hair wet, scraped hands and knees, bleeding forehead—there was no thinking. Andrew hadn’t seen the fight;only hearing what you and Deran said. But that was enough. That guy hurt you. That was all Andrew needed to know. No logic—just sharp, searing rage. He saw red. The kind of red that drowns out reason, leaves bruises on someone’s face, and blood on his knuckles.
Andrew had gone off and beaten the shit out of that surfer—and now you were seeing the aftermath. His knuckles were raw and reddened, the skin split open in places where it had met something—or someone—hard.
But he looked away, breaking eye contact, jaw tight like he couldn’t stand to see whatever was written on your face.
“Hey, you okay?” Deran asked, jogging up beside the truck, worry etched across his face.
“Yeah, Baz patched me up,” you said quickly, voice a little breathless, trying to keep the tremor out. You forced a small smile, but it didn’t quite reach your eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Deran said quietly
You swallowed hard, meeting his gaze for a split second before looking away. “Don’t do that again, please. I didn’t like that at all.”
Before Deran could answer, Andrew spoke up “Deran, I need to talk to you.”
Deran looked between the two of you, frowning, then nodded. “We’re just about done packing up. How about you head to the Jeep? I’ll be there in a minute, okay?”
“O-okay.” You slid off the tailgate, your legs a little shaky as you walked across the lot to Craig’s Jeep, the weight of everything pressing down on your shoulders.
Behind you, you could feel the tension shift the second you were out of earshot.
“I handled it.”
“Clearly,” Deran muttered, eyes flicking to the blood on Andrew’s knuckles.
Andrew’s voice sliced through the air—quiet, but razor-sharp.
“Next time you’re gonna confront and fight someone, do it when she’s not around. Don’t do shit like that again—understand me?”
Deran shifted his weight but didn’t back down. His eyes met Andrew’s evenly. “Yeah.”
Andrew didn’t soften. “I don’t want her around.”
Deran’s voice sharpened, “I’m not cutting her out just because you say so.”
“Did you not listen to me the first time? At the party?” Andrew’s tone went colder, more pointed. “She won’t last around us. I don’t want her around.”
“She’s my friend”
Andrew’s jaw flexed like steel, his eyes narrowing. “You really think it’s okay to drag your friend into this shit?”
Deran’s nostrils flared, frustration bubbling under his calm facade. “She’s not in anything,” he shot back, voice rising slightly. “You act like I brought her in on some job.”
Andrew took a step closer “You think it starts with that? It’s already started — the party, ditching school, the fight. This is how it happens. Piece by piece. One day, she’s too deep, and there’s no crawling back.”
Deran knew Andrew was right.
They only had a few months of high school left. You’d be going to college soon, off to some different world he couldn’t follow. Deran wanted you close—needed you close. He wanted to soak up every bit of your goodness before distance tore you two apart. It was selfish, he knew that. Even if it meant putting you at risk by keeping you around.
But you made things feel lighter. Easier. Like maybe the weight of their world didn’t have to crush everything.
College would take you away, and with you would go all the small moments that made life bearable.
“She’s not going anywhere,” Deran said stubbornly, like just saying it out loud could make it true.
Andrew didn’t argue this time. Just gave him a look—one that said you will learn.
Because his little brother wasn’t going to listen.
He was going to have to learn the hard way.
“You know what—fine,” Andrew snapped, jaw tight. “Keep her around. But when shit catches up to us—and it will—she’ll be the one standing in the crossfire.”
His eyes were sharp, voice low and cold.
“You keep pulling her into this life, that blood’s on you. Don’t come asking us for help.”
Deran didn’t say anything at first. Just stared back, jaw clenched, breathing hard through his nose.
“Deran, let’s go!” Craig called from the Jeep, his voice cutting through the tension.
Deran looked at Andrew one last time. Then, without another word, he turned and headed for the Jeep.
You had watched them through the rear windshield. They had been arguing—low voices at first, then sharper, more tense, like a storm building just beneath the surface. You couldn’t hear the words, but you didn’t need to. The way Andrew stood, rigid, and the way Deran’s hands kept flexing at his sides told you everything.
Deran climbed into the passenger seat without a word, slamming the door harder than necessary. Craig gave him a look but didn’t say anything, just threw the Jeep into gear and pulled away from the curb.
You stayed quiet in the back, heart still beating too fast.
You were still trying to wrap your head around why Andrew had gone after the surfer. It wasn’t even his fight to begin with. Was it just because you were his little brother’s friend—an extension of Deran?
He didn’t even like you or want you around, so why did he do it?
Maybe it didn’t mean anything. Maybe it was just instinct. Protection by proximity.
You glanced out the window as the beach faded behind you, sunlight slanting low across the water.
You didn’t understand Andrew. Not really. You were still trying to figure him out—where you stood with him, what he was thinking behind those unreadable looks and clipped words.
But one thing was clear: he wasn’t indifferent.
And that was enough to keep you wondering.
LYA Tag: @obfuscateyummy @princesssunderworld @jumpingjackalope @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @alexandrathegreat3 @cozyfanficnook @livingavilaloca @oldmanbunnylover @trustme3-13 @qardasngan @im-nowhere-but-also-somewhere
Love You Anyway | Then (1) (2)
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calliesmemes · 1 year ago
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EVEN MORE ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED COMEDIC RELIEF
ASSORTED SENTENCE STARTERS FROM AROUND THE INTERNET, including quotes from Tumblr, Pinterest, TikTok, and X (formerly known as Twitter), for when a muse wants to lighten up the situation at hand.
CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.
SPECIFY muse for multimuses.
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“   It’s sea shanty time once again my fellow bastards of the ocean! ”
“   Partner, I reckon that I ain’t been feeling very yeehaw lately. ”
“   I don’t study; I consult the lore. ”
“   Yeah, I understand women — they all want daggers and swords. It’s all quite simple, really. ”
“   Lord forgive me but I may have to make a nonessential purchase. ”
“   Those are bold words for someone in stabbing range. ”
“   Yes I’m a gatekeeper and a hater. I’m also God’s most favorite princess and the most interesting girl in the world. ”
“   My primary motivations are fear, spite, and aesthetic longing. ”
“   Man — if I had a sword, I wouldn’t be worried about shit. ”
“   It’s not blood that runs through these veins but glitter gel pen ink. ”
“   If I was in a Jane Austen novel, I would be the one sent to the seaside for my health. ”
“   Half of me is a hopeless romantic, and the other half of me is … well … an asshole. ”
“   I am the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person I know. ”
“   I hope I give off the vibe to all animals that I am their ally and their friend. ”
“   I see you’re paying attention to someone who is not me. Why is that? ”
“   Normalize letting me talk without making any sense. ”
“   Don’t care, didn’t ask, plus my psychic visions have predicted the outcome of this encounter. ”
“   I could be so much worse. For example, I could start acting like my father. ”
“   Sorry for acting so strange and irregular; It will happen again. ”
“   i love sitting in my room.....alone....a girl in her cave....scheming and plotting and drinking tea. ”
“   These man made horrors are beyond YOUR comprehension. I get it though. ”
“   I’m a goth girl on the inside. On the outside? A father figure. ”
“   I don’t need to face reality; I’m not just that type of girl. ”
“   DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A frickle-frackle? ”
“   I’m about to cha cha real smooth off a fucking cliff. ”
“   Sorry I told you about my trauma. Do you still think I’m hot? ”
“   My priorities aren’t straight and neither am I. ”
“   I have felt permanently guilty for no reason since I was like eight years old. ”
“   Of course I have a lot of pent up rage, you fool! I’ve been the same height since I was twelve years old! ”
“   I was born for shock value. ”
“   Good morning! God has let me live another day and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem. ”
“   Oh, I slept miserably because I was tormented by terrible visions all night. I hope none of them were prophetic! ”
“   Be the surreal nonsense that you want to see in the world. ”
“   Being smart has never stopped me from being a complete fucking idiot. ”
“   My hobbies include knowing things and being right. ”
“   This is good advice, but don’t tell me what to do. ”
“   I hate the idea of authority. What the fuck is someone being superior to me? Bitch I’m gonna take your kneecaps. ”
“   Stop forgiving my crimes! I worked so hard on those! ”
“   My hobbies? Uhhhh, symbolism mostly. Metaphors and implications and the like. ”
“   I may not have any braincells, but I make up for it by having many heart cells. ”
“   I can’t mansplain manipulate manwhore my way out of this one guys! ”
“   Not all your life decisions have to be smart. Some can be purely for cinematic value. ”
“   Sometimes I wish I looked more fragile and feminine like a dainty flower, but I do enjoy looking like I hate everyone. ”
“   Any dream can be a prophetic dream if you’re willing to do some really weird shit. ”
“   girl help there is not enough enrichment in my enclosure. ”
“   BRO, you NEED to stop SUMMONING DEMONS in the FRAT HOUSE. ”
“   I just gave your address to some spiders! ”
“   I disappoint my father as a hobby now. ”
“   I think that the dark circles under my eyes add to my aesthetic actually. ”
“   Good news! I’ve successfully replaced all of my emotions with jokes! ”
“   I have half a braincell left and I’m very scared to use it! ”
“   Listen, son — in this world, it’s either yeet or be yeeted. ”
“   I appreciate the advice, but I think that I’m old enough to make my own bad decisions. ”
“   I’m disappointed in me too. Y’all aren’t special. ”
“   Running from your demons is the best exercise! ”
“   Sorry; I can’t commit any crimes with you. My mom says that I have to study. ”
“   Time flies when you don’t know what the fuck is going on. ”
“   If I run out of tacos, I can no longer maintain my human form. ”
“   Bestie, I don’t think that I can girlboss under these conditions. ”
“   Yeah I’ve had combat training; I can do anxiety attacks! ”
“   Swag is earned, not learned. ”
“   Contrary to popular belief, violence solves a lot. ”
“   I CANNOT STAND YOU ALL so I will SIT DOWN. ”
“   Please God no … I don’t need any more character development right now! ”
“   If you can’t beat ‘em, yeet ‘em. ”
“   Do not put me in a situation. I’m at my limit and I am very tired. ”
“   I may be depressed, but at least I’m not basic. ”
“   It’s MY LIFE and I’ll sabotage it myself, thank you. ”
“   Think twice? Bold of you to assume that I think once. ”
“   At the next inconvenience, I will start biting people. ”
“   Oops I think that I just experienced an emotion. ”
“   Did you know that rats spelled backwards is star? ”
“   One day, I’ll be reincarnated as a pigeon, and I’ll shit on your head. ”
“   On the outside, I’m a baddie — but on the inside, I’m a saddie. ”
“   My grandma bullies me through the Ouija board. ”
“   I’m a cool person if you can just look past my personality. ”
“   Beetles don’t have to do taxes, and I think that is a beautiful way to live. ”
“   I hope that you get your character development arc soon. ”
“   Those are some nice kneecaps … It’d be a shame if someone stole them … ”
“   I’ve wanted to be a trophy wife ever since I was a little boy. ”
“   I’m done being baby; I want POWER ”
“   Wait, “Just Standing There Ominously” doesn’t count as socializing? ”
“   Yes I am smart, and yes, I am stupid. It’s called being flexible. ”
“   I am NOT delusional!!!!! I am OPTIMISTIC! ”
“   I deserve compensation for not being the menace to society that i could be, like i'm skipping out on a lot of fun here. ”
“   Do not ask me if you should or shouldn't do something !!! Before I am a friend I am an enabler !!! ”
“   i am the WORLDS PRETTYIST PINK PRINCESS and im gonna KILL YOU WITH MY HUGE FUCKING HAMMER ”
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somanyideassolittletime · 9 days ago
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the car love shop pt.2
Pairing: Jack Abbot x fem!mechanic!reader
Summary: continuation to my previous work, a hangout turns into a small heart to heart, will you be my gf?. pt.1 can be found here
warnings: language, Jack yearns, you yearns, love love is in the air (or the office), grammatical error, no beta read.
author's note: definitely a self-indulgent fic where I put my love of automotive and Jack together, but nonetheless, enjoy!
It’s been two month since his truck filter change, since he went for a coffee with you (and a few short dates here and there followed by a ton of hangouts), two weeks since that one innocent kiss, where he’s sure he wanted to be with you officially, not that the both of you needed that extra step of confirmation with the way your relationship are progressing, but he is an old-fashioned guy at heart, so he feel the need to actually ask you out. 
It was almost comical how he approached the talking stage with you, the way he came to your shop pretending that his tire was not the right pressure, only to get called out that his tire was indeed the perfect pressure, or the one time he told you he forgot to eat, followed by “wanna go get food with me?”. 
maybe it’s been way too long since he actually is interested in having a relationship, but he supposed he’s at least doing it right, with the way you responded to his advances, so he’ll forgive the butterflies in his stomach for now. 
He’s packing up his stuff to go, his shift ended five minutes ago – something that needed further investigation, to quote what Dana said to Santos –  Mindlessly, he fished his phone out of his pocket. His phone’s been buzzing a few times throughout the shift, but he hasn’t had a chance to check it. 
7 text from you. One of those is a selfie of you and a car. 
8:40 
| you : fixing up this handsome beast. Pls don’t treat a pretty girl.
8:41 
| you : no I’ll combust if you treat a pretty girl. 
10:13
| you : tommy almost lost his finger. Again. 
12:57
| you : eat. Don’t you dare forget to eat again. It’s not a good reason to take me out. 
15:45
| you : i just woke up from a nap where you treat the prettiest girl. I swear if that girl ever come to my shop for an oil change i’ll tell her she needs to fix her entire engine block. 
18:03
| you : it’s another hour before you’re free. I feel giddy wtf. 
He smiled to himself, saving the photo you sent him to his phone before walking out the door, calling your number. 
You picked up in the first ring. He can hear the commotion in the background, and your laugh – the laugh that makes him a goner.
“Hey” 
“Hi. you busy?” he asked, he was planning to come to your shop anyway to hang out. 
“Why? You wanna come here?” he can hear the smirk in your voice. 
“Yeah, i’m on my way there now.” 
“you know you don’t need to ask permission to come here y’know” 
“Yeah, but why would I come here if you’re not there?” 
You don’t answer him, instead it was tommy “to hang out with me you dipshit” 
He chuckled, “You put me on speaker?” 
“Yeah, my hands are filthy. Come here, I’ll wait.” 
“Okay. oh, and Tommy?” he can hear rustling and a huh from Tommy. 
“You like ravens so fuck off” 
He heard your laugh saying “yeah fuck ravens” on the background before cutting the call. 
Jack finds himself at the front door of the shop. Unlike the first time, he strides in with confidence, though his tired eyes and slightly sluggish movement are very detectable. 
Entering the shop, his eyes scanned over, finding you and Tommy currently working on the same car. Tommy notices him first, nudging your side to point at Jack. He can physically feel his knees go weak as your eyes light up, meeting his. 
He only walked a few steps closer when you dashed hurriedly to the back to wash your hands. Jack was looking at you confusedly, Tommy chuckled at him. “She washed her hands.” 
Jack nodded at him, following you to the back where he finds you scrubbing your hands of all the grime, looking as focused as ever. “No hi for me?” his voice startled you, you looked at him through the mirror, pouting, “I wanna hug you but my hands’ all dirty.” 
He chuckled, “y’know I don’t care, these scrubs are dirty anyway,” his hands reaching out to you to ask for a hug. Desperate much, man?. He thought to himself. “No. It’s a different kind of dirty,” you shake your head, still looking at him through the reflection. 
Deciding that your hands are clean enough, you dried your hands, turning you body to face Jack, arms open to hug him. 
Two can play the game. 
Closing in on him, he put his palms on your forehead, stopping your action. You would’ve felt warm from his touch alone, but you’re craving his hug right now. So now you’re annoyed. He tsked at you, his other hand pointing a finger at you. “Need to change clothes first. Germs.” 
You groaned loudly, “I just want a hug. Damn difficult” he shrugged “you started first” you take his hand pulling him to your office. 
“Go ahead. Tell me when you’re done,” you said, walking away from your office. Jack didn’t respond. Making you stop in your steps. “What the fuck? What if I have like cameras all over the room?” He smirked annoyingly – annoyingly hot – at you. “Yeah, wouldn’t you like that?” 
“Ugh. Insufferable,” you said as you closed the door behind you. 
It was a short wait as Jack opened the door. You waste no time, not thinking twice before practically pouncing at him. He catches you in his arms, holding you tightly. You can hear him sigh contentedly. You relax in his arms, still holding him, afraid he’ll evaporate the moment you release your grip. 
You nuzzled your face on his chest, breathing in his scent – his detergent, his fresh musky cologne, and him – “You staying to watch the game?” you speak first, pulling away from his grasp, already missing his body warmth. 
He nodded, stupidly, at you. You took your time looking up and down at him, admiring him. He looked so good for someone wearing a plain t-shirt and cargo shorts. Not fair, Jack. 
He’s not an insecure man by any means, but the way you’re fixated on his legs doesn’t help his personal beliefs. He watched as you sat down on the couch, patting your sides to invite him. 
When he sat down beside you, his shorts hiked up just slightly for you to peek at his thigh, you instinctively looked down at them, not saying anything. Thighs. Thighs. Thighs. Realizing that you hadn’t said anything,  He looked at you, looking down at his legs, “What?”
You shake your head, turning on the TV, forcing your eyes to look anywhere but his thighs. 
He’ll blame his tired mind when he asks the next thing. “You’ve been staring at my legs, making me scared, hon.” he doesn’t even recognize the slip-up. You groaned, rubbing at your face. “Your thighs,” you mumbled softly, just enough for you to hear. “I can’t hear you, y’know” 
“It’s stupid.” 
“Look, if this bothers you, just please-” you cut him off before he can finish, “I can see your thighs-. Told you it was stupid.” Red bloomed in your face.
He smirked at you, “What? All this time I thought you’re gonna be put off by this-” he said motioning to his legs “-Only for you to get distracted by my fuckin thighs?”  
“Well, when you put it like that,” You huffed at him. He laughed at you, scooting closer, putting his arms on your shoulders. You mull over what he said earlier, put off? By a fucking prosthetic? What kind of person- cutting your train of thoughts, “wait.” you leaned back slightly to look him in the eyes. 
He hums, “when you said ‘i thought you’re gonna be put off’ why would I?” he pulled you back to his arms, leaning his head closer to yours, “it’s stupid-” he huffs a breath before continuing, “just that most people would y’know, and I kinda like you, like really really like you-” 
“Aw, I really really like you too,-” you cut him off, understanding where his train of thoughts are going, He chuckles for a second, “you’re impossible,” 
“Glad to be of service, sir.” you salute at him with a grin so wide he wanted to take a picture and keep it forever. He looked at the TV, and the game had just started. 
He leaned down to your ear, “Should we call Tommy now?” You shook your head against his body, “I kinda wanna spend it only with you” 
He squeezed your shoulder just slightly, “good.” 
In all seriousness, you can’t even focus on the game, with the way Jack’s eyes reflected the light coming from the TV, looking really focused – he looked so ethereal – but you’re not gonna tell that to him, nah, you’re thinking of teasing him. 
So you reach your hand over to put it on his thigh. He stiffened up, swallowing a lump. You laughed at him, gleefully, “holy shit, you’re blushing.” 
He stared at you, putting his hand behind your neck, pulling you into a kiss – not an innocent one like you shared many nights ago – this one held longing, and fuck, he know how to kiss. Your hands find the hair in the nape of his neck, instinctively playing with it, pulling him even closer to you. 
You pulled away first, breathless, smirking at the way his lips still chased yours. “I seriously need to breathe, babe” you speak first. His heart stuttered at the pet name, but he watched as your face turned into a disgusted frown before chuckling to yourself. 
“What?” he asked you, voice just slightly above a whisper. 
“Remind me not use babe again, i feel like a teenager” he let himself a chuckle of relief, maybe he’s not the only one who’s been feeling like the lovesick teenagers. 
“Will you be my girlfriend?” he stuttered out before he can collect his thought, and now it’s his turn to grimace, the title felt…too juvenile. 
You laugh, understanding his grimace, “too childish, right?” he nods, grinning nonetheless. 
“But yes, I mean- fuck titles, i wanna be with you, whatever the common terms are nowadays,” you pull him into a kiss once more, just to seal the deal. 
“Sometimes when we’re calling in the middle of the night, I can’t believe that you actively chose me, y’know” your confession shocked him, isn’t he supposed to be the one feeling that? 
“I still believe that i’m way out of your league honestly,” he admits what he’s been thinking ever since meeting you. 
“What?” 
“You’re really…. okay , i’m actually lost at words right now, but I really can’t stop thinking about you, and I feel like you can honestly do better than me,” 
You give him a smile, a genuine one, no more teasing and beating around the bush now, you offered him your hands, one he intertwines almost immediately. 
He lifts your intertwined hands to his lips, giving it squeeze and then a kiss. “Now what can possibly makes you think I won’t choose you?” 
You leaned your body to him, trying to find the right words to say, “guys usually leave after knowing what I do for work,” because it was the truth, as stupid as it sounds, you’ve experienced men who’s masculinity is too fragile to admits that you do know more than they do in something what society depicts as a male-dominated fields. 
He gives your hair a peck, before whispering, “honey I love that big brain of yours, i love that you called me out on my bullshit reason to take you out and ask me myself, I love that you’re confident, hell, I even froze here in this room when I first met you, and when you talk to me while you fix up my truck? I was done for.” 
The butterflies in your stomach is gone now, because being with Jack doesn’t make you feel anxious that you’re afraid to act like yourself, being with Jack feels like freedom and peace all at the same time. It was like back when you were a kid, with an ice cream in hand in the middle of summer, knowing that life can’t possibly get better. 
Because you now know that he yearns for you as much as you yearn for him. 
“What if we ditch the game and I’ll cook for you?” 
He smirks, “my place or yours?” 
You peel yourself away from him, standing up, you offer a hand to him, he grips your hand to stand up. “With you? I’ll cook in the middle of the forest even if I have too,” 
He laughs, leaning down to give a chaste kiss on your lips, “where’s the key?” 
You scoff at him, walking over to get your keys, dangling it in front of him, “you’re cute if you think I’ll let you drive my first love,” 
He groans, walking over the door to hold the door for you, “an hour of us dating and now you’re giving me the passenger princess treatment? Honey, you’re definitely a keeper” 
You laugh as you walk out of the door, “hey, that’s definitely better than babe,” 
Jack shake his head as he speed walk to catch over with you, thank God my filter needs a change. 
72 notes · View notes
quillsandtypos · 6 months ago
Text
The Light of Laughter
Words: 7.7 k
Pairings: none, this is a platonic/familial fic
Characters: Lee!Peter, Ler!Tony, Ler!Bucky, Lee!Wanda, Ler!Steve,
Warnings: a lot of tickling and some older brother/mentor tickling so if that’s not your thing please feel free to sit this one out
Author’s note: This is a squealing Santa fic for the lovely @inneedofsupervision I’m so sorry your gift is late but I hope I make up for the wait. I also wanted to give a massive thanks to @squealing-santa for running this event and for graciously helping me with the deadline.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The bell rang, sending chairs scuffing across the floor as students pushed their way out of the classroom. Kids pushed past him, knocking shoulders with him in the chaos as Peter waded to the back of the room.
“You don’t have to wait for me, ya know?” Ned said, roughly shoving his stuff in his folders.
Peter’s brows furrowed. He took one look at the mess on Ned’s desk and started helping him pack his things up. “Yes, I do. I’m the reason we got separated in this class, and we always walk out together.”
Ned brushed off his help, but continued shoving things away. “Aww thanks Peter.” He picked up a notebook paper that had floated down to the floor somehow. “You'd make such a good girlfriend,” he said, then frozen with the paper still between his fingers.
Peter gently pried it from his hands, sliding it into his backpack, sensing that all of the tests were starting to get to him. “Was that what you meant to say?”
Ned finally dethawed, going back to the task at hand. “We’re not acknowledging it.”
Peter chortled, fighting back a comment about the blush on his face. “Yes we are.”
Ned pointed a finger at him. “Not if you still want your christmas present.”
Peter mimicked zipping his lips, not wanting to risk losing his gift. He didn’t have to use his spidey senses to guess what it was. Ned had been dropping quote unquote hints to him about his present all week, and Peter had figured out it was legos by Wednesday.
He filed the last of Ned’s papers away, which was less of putting papers in folders, and mostly a lot of shoving. Peter didn’t even know how he managed to collect this many papers in the first place.
“You aren’t going to be able to find any of your papers when we come back from break,” Peter remarked, picking up a broken folder that was nearly split in half with all the papers inside of it.
Ned shrugged. “I’ll just throw out anything I don’t need when January comes.”
“Then get a new folder for the semester so you can break it by summer?” Peter asked, fighting back a grin. He knew he was pushing his luck with his christmas gift on the line, but Peter had a gift for him as well, and he wasn’t afraid to bargain his way back into Ned’s good graces.
“Exactly,” Ned nodded. “See, I’m glad you get it.”
Peter rolled his eyes.
“By Mr. Smith!” Peter called, waving to his teacher as they walked out the door.
“Bye boys, stay safe over break. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” He said, closing the door on them on their way out.
The hallways were a mess of hustle and bustle, everyone eager to escape the building as fast as possible. With the thought of finals erased from their minds, and their warm beds waiting for them at home to catch up on some overdue sleep, no one was wasting another minute in that dreadful building.
Peter tapped the top of the frame as Ned and him pushed through the doors, letting the cold New York winter air blow into the hallways, sending Christmas lights fluttering in the breeze.
“My gift?” Peter asked, once they were outside and away from the entrance.
“I want mine first,” Ned said.
Peter cocked his head at him, a coy smile playing at his lips. “How’d you know I bought you one?”
Ned deadpanned. “Oh come on Peter, we do the same thing every year. We give each other gifts on the last day of school before break.”
Peter dropped the act. “Fine.”
He reached into his backpack and pulled out a small box covered messily in red candy cane wrapping. As he handed it to Ned he realized he’d missed a spot, and he hoped he didn’t notice.
Luckily, Ned tore it open as fast as he always did, barely noticing the wrapping before he immediately threw it away.
“Do you know what it is?” Peter asked, as Ned continued staring at it without saying anything.
Ned’s brows furrowed. “I don’t think so.”
Peter tapped on the clear box. “It’s a Palladium core I encased in resin.”
Ned’s eyes went wide. “No, it’s not-” he trailed off, but Peter nodded.
“Look at the front of it.”
Ned flipped it around and gasped, holding a hand to his mouth. “You got it signed by him?”
Peter smiled. “Yup. This is one of the ones that was inside him,” Peter stopped, holding up a finger. “Wait, not like that.”
Ned grabbed him by the shoulders. “Who cares! Peter! This is the best gift ever!”
Peter grinned even wider as his friend shook him rather aggressively, the zippers on his backpack clanging with the movement. It really hadn’t been that difficult to come by, Tony had just had to replace his, and when Peter asked about it, Tony had happily complied.
He thought it was a little weird at first, but he had just said, “kids these days” then scoffed and walked off, leaving Peter with the core.
Ned stopped shaking him, a frown overtaking his face. “Aww, but all I got you was legos.”
Peter’s face lit up at the mention. “No, are you kidding me? I’m about to get a bunch of sciency stuff from the avengers, all I want are some legos.”
“Alright, fine,” Ned groaned, handing him a bright gift bag.
Peter took it and ripped all of the tissue paper out of the bag. “Yes!” he cheered. “All I needed was the hulk to complete my set.”
Ned raised a brow. “Do the avengers ever find it weird that you collect lego figurines of them?”
Peter felt his cheeks warm. “I wouldn’t know, I’ve never told them.”
“Heard,” Ned nodded.
“Alright, see you in a few days?” Ned asked, bumping his fist against his.
Peter finished the handshake. “Yep, I’ll see you then.”
Usually the two would walk home on the last day, but this year was different. As the snow began to lightly fall over the city, Peter was headed towards the avengers tower for a few days.
Aunt May had won some sort of radio contest back in November to go on a Christmas cruise for five days. She was overjoyed, until she found out she had only been given a ticket for one person. The last thing she wanted to do was leave him alone for Christmas, stating that she would rather work double shifts at the community center for two weeks than ever even think about leaving him by himself in New York. Peter was grateful she didn’t know about his nightly patrols, fearful that she might very well have a heart attack, but he needed to come up with some way to convince her to go anyway. Peter knew she needed a break, but after almost a month of trying to reassure her he’d be fine, even he was starting to run out of ways to convince her.
Peter was ranting about it to Tony one day in the lab, and he’d offered him up a solution on a silver platter.
Apparently, as long as he was staying with the Earth’s mightiest heroes, May was willing to let him stay in New York without her. He’d still had to assure her a dozen times that he would be fine with her leaving him on christmas, but they’d managed to pull it off. Just before school that day, she’d left for the airport with her bags. She’d placed a kiss on his cheek, told him to have fun, and to text lots of pictures. She added on as she stood in the doorframe, that she wanted him to be good for Tony. Peter fought the urge to laugh, considering it would be more fitting if she told Tony to behave himself.
He’d heard rumors of Tony Stark’s infamous Christmas parties, and had been fighting the urge to ask him if he’d be invited for the last week.
The walk passed by faster than it usually did, his mind buzzing with thoughts of what he could get up to for the next five days. As he approached the tower, he looked up at the full height of it. The A was already accumulating a fair amount of snow on top of it as the gray skies above it seemed to swirl around the building.
Peter heaved in a breath before he rang the doorbell. There would be more heroes in the tower than he was used to for the next few days. Tony was inviting all kinds of people from all corners of the universe for the week. He’d already met so many of his heroes, and now he had the potential to interact with even more.He’d tried to tease it out of Tony, but he’d only held a finger to his lips and told him he’d find out eventually. However, here Peter was, and the day was finally here.
At last, he gathered up the courage to actually ring the bell, and he listened intently to the sound echoing through the first few levels of the tower.
It was always a mystery who would open the door for him at the Avengers tower. More often than not, it was Happy or Pepper, but occasionally he would get one of the other’s.
Today, he was surprised to be met with no one. The door unlocked on its own, and it just swung open, seemingly on a stray breeze. Peter walked in cautiously, his footsteps light, but nothing seemed glaringly wrong except for the mysterious door. He quietly hung his bag on the hanger Tony had drilled into the wall, and began tip toeing into the living room.
He turned the corner, peeking out from behind the door frame when he spotted Wanda, and another woman he didn’t recognize.
“Oh, hi Peter!” Wanda called. “The other’s are upstairs in various places.”
“Oh, thanks for letting me in,” he said, staying a distance away from them. They seemed to be in the middle of something before he walked in, the other person on the couch blushing furiously.
Wanda stood, placing her glass of wine on the table beside her. “Oh, I almost forgot, Spider-man this is Tele, Tele this Spider-man.” Wanda turned back to Tele. “Or I guess I should specify, this is our world's Spider-man. God, that’s going to get difficult when everyone gets here.”
At Wanda’s words, Peter’s memory came flooding back to him. “Ohhh, your Peter three’s friend.”
They nodded. “Well it’s nice to officially meet you, but Tony said I should meet him up in the lab when I get here, so I should probably go.”
“Go,” Wanda waved. “We’ll have plenty of time to catch up in the next couple days.”
Peter hoped she was right, he’d been wondering if she’d be in the tower just yet. He had heard she’d been sent on a mission with Tele, Peter three, and Natasha, and he had a lot of questions for her. The occupants of the tower didn’t always notice it, but they had a tendency of telling him things he shouldn’t necessarily know. Not that Peter was complaining, but it was funny how all of their spy training and stoic personalities all softened when they were comfortable around each other.
Peter stepped into one of the elevators and pressed the twelfth floor. It smoothly rode up the line to his floor and when the doors opened, his eyes widened at the winter wonderland in front of him.
It was like he was stepping into santa’s workshop. The billionaire had strung up garland anywhere he could without making it a fire hazard, and there were so many fairy lights strung from the ceiling that the brightness replaced the glow of the regular lab lights.
Peter walked around, taking it all in.
Stockings hung from each large piece of equipment, their names listed on each of them in glitter glue that looked like Morgan had helped. The green and red iron man suit was on display in the middle of the lab, and each of the center poles in the room were wrapped to look like candy canes.
“You like it?” Tony called from the back, his voice echoing a little with all the metal in the room.
Peter spun around, trying to observe all of it in as big of a quantity as he could. “LIke it? I think Santa Claus threw up in here.”
“That better be a compliment Parker, you know I’m not afraid to flip you to the naughty list and take away your presents.” Peter laughed, hearing the teasing in his tone. It was always a challenge when he arrived in the lab to find Tony. Some days he thought the man was purposely making a game of it, but today he found him behind a few monitors with ease.
Peter looked at the screen, leaning over Tony’s desk to look at what he’d been working on. “Funny, you’re not the first person to tell me that today.”
“Well, maybe that means you deserve it,” Tony said, tweaking his ribs.
“Hey!” Peter squeaked, puberty immediately leaving his voice.
“Hey is for horses, what’s it doing in your mouth?” Tony remarked without taking his eyes off of the monitor. Peter backed up, making sure to keep his arms close to his sides.
“What’d you call me up for? What are we working on today?” he asked eagerly.
Tony spun around towards him, looking up at him. “You, my sticky friend, are not working on anything for the next five days.”
“Mr. Stark,” Peter groaned. He could work on so many upgrades with all the time he was going to have in the tower. With no school, and no Aunt May, he had nothing stopping him.
Tony held his hands up. “No, I don’t want to hear a whining. I signed on to house a sixteen year old for a few days, not a five year old.”
Peter wanted to say that he was not acting like a five year old, but he feared that would only prove Tony’s point. However, he had never had such an ideal time to work, and he couldn’t give up on the idea that easily. “But I have so many new ideas for my suit.”
“Nope,” Tony said, dramatically popping the ��p’. “You, my friend, are going to take a few days off, and so am I. There are people being put in place to keep an eye here on earth, and none of those people are you and me.”
“What was the point in decorating the lab then?” Peter asked.
Tony looked at him like the answer to his question was quite obvious, and Peter was reminded of how truly dramatic his mentor was.
Tony patted his back, getting to his feet. “Consider it me paying you back for that time I let you go to space.”
Peter furrowed his brows. “But you didn’t let me? I went without asking.”
Tony slowly turned to him. He stared at Peter for a moment before he started rapidly jabbing his hands into Peter’s midsection wherever he could manage. “Is this really a point you’d like to be arguing five days before Christmas, Parker?”
Peter boyishly giggled as he jumped out of the way. He should’ve known better than to nitpick Tony when he was telling a story. “Noho!”
Tony only followed the teenager, wrapping an arm around him and fluttering his fingers on his neck. “Are you sure?” he teased.
“Yes,” Peter laughed. He lightly pushed him away, taking care to not use too much of his strength considering Tony didn’t even have a suit on.
“Alright, spiderling, I believe you for now. So, are we clear about the rules with lab time?”
Peter couldn’t hide his disappointment, but he shook his head in agreement. “Yes, Mr. Stark.”
“Okay, just a couple other ground rules, and then I’ll let you go.” He clapped his hands together. “We just discussed number one, so you already know no lab time for the next five days, I want you to have some time off. Rule number two, no patrols either, it goes under the time off clause.” Peter groaned, but Tony continued on.
“Rule number three, you have to help Morgan, Pepper, and I wrap gifts because I bought too many gifts for everyone. Rule number four, you need to send your Aunt May an update at least once a day-” Peter started to protest, but Tony held a hand up.
“Ah-ah those are the rules I agreed to for taking you on. If you don’t follow them your Aunt will have my head and yours.”
Peter held his hands up. “I was gonna say that it shouldn’t be a problem because I've already texted her twice today, but okay.”
“Sure you were,” Tony chortled.
“I was!” Peter scoffed.
Tony pushed his reading glasses up on his head. “Well aren’t you nyc’s little golden boy.”
Peter paused, uncertain what to do with the comment. Luckily, Tony moved on from most things pretty quickly.
“Okay, rule number 5, no more calling me Mr. Stark. You are quite literally spending Christmas with me, don’t make it weird. Number six, no shenanigans?”
Peter cocked a brow, and Tony shrugged. “What qualifies as a shenanigan?”
He pointed a finger at him. “Don’t play dumb with me kid.”
Peter gawked at him. “I’m not, what does that mean?”
“Well I don’t want to give you an example, that’ll just give you ideas.”
Peter threw his hands up, and Tony’s facade cracked a little, no longer able to bite down on his smile. “I’m messing with you web slinger, you know I support mischief.”
He pointed a finger at Peter. “Just don’t tell Loki I said that.”
“You have my word, Mr. Stark.”
Tony glared at him and Peter took a preemptive step back. “Sorry, Tony. It’ll take a little getting used to.”
Tony began walking out of the lab, and Peter followed. When Tony came to a sudden stop, so did Peter. “Oh, also, you can come to the Christmas party, but you can’t drink.”
“Oh, come on,” Peter protested.
Tony sighed. “Alright, fine, you can have a singular drink.” Peter began uttering his thanks, and telling him about how responsible he will be, but Tony shushed him. “We’ll pretend we’re in Europe to ease my conscience. You have to promise me you won’t tell your aunt though.”
“I promise,” he agreed, eyes shining. He honestly hadn’t expected to be invited to the christmas party, let alone allowed to drink, and he wouldn’t do anything to make Tony regret it.
“Alright, good,” Tony patted him on the back. “Now be a proper teenager and go bother people or hide in your room, your pick.”
Peter laughed good naturedly, knowing Tony didn’t truly mean it. Or at least, he was fairly sure.
Tony snapped his fingers. “Oh, also if you could bother resident broody and the star spangled banner, that would be the best present you could give me. Truly priceless.”
Peter smiled, heading up the stairs, his footsteps echoing in the empty hallway. “I think I can manage that.”
Tony gave him a thumbs up and they went their separate ways. Peter was surprised he hadn’t received a lecture on gift giving, specifically, on how he should have a lack of it. Last year he had gotten Tony a singular gift for the holidays, just a simple frame of the photo of the two of them, and Tony had given him a gift for ten weeks straight to prove a point. Apparently, billionaires didn’t appreciate teenagers with limited funds using their money on them.
Peter unlocked the door to his room, and jumped on top of his soft duvet. His body went limp, the mattress soaking up every bit of his exhaustion. He sighed contentedly, his eyes fluttering shut. He would just lay here for a little bit, and then he would wander around the tower and visit with everyone else.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Peter woke up bleary eyed and still in his clothes from the day before. He rolled, trying to find where his clock was, and realized there was no more bed underneath him. His stomach lurched as his hands scrambled for purchase. He grabbed his sheets, which slowed his fall. He sighed in relief, still half delirious. He stayed there for a second, still trying to figure out what had happened when the sheets lost their hold.
He landed with a thunk and groaned in pain. Apparently, his spidey senses weren’t awake either. He wiped at his eyes, trying to make sense of everything.
He looked up at the clock on his nightstand and had to rub his eyes and read it again to make sure he was seeing correctly. Peter had woken up at nine am the next day.
He wrestled himself out of his sheets and threw them back on the bed. He cursed his teenage body mixed with a spider bite for needing so much sleep. He had probably already missed so many new arrivals while he was sleeping.
As he pulled out some clothes from his dresser, he realized there were decorations all over his room too. He must not have noticed it when he’d walked in yesterday, but someone had done up his room as well. Garland hung from each of his furniture pieces like icicles from the edge of a house, his rug had been changed out to a fluffy red and green one, and he even had some festive attire that someone had thrown in with the rest of his regular clothes.
He opted to forgo the red and green in terms of clothing for the time being. He was already likely going to be the youngest in every room, and he didn’t need everyone looking at him like a child because he was wearing an elf onesie. Besides, that would only bring more attention to him while he was trying to learn about all of the new people.
He quickly showered and threw on his clothes, absentmindedly pushed his hair back and headed out the door.
He ran down the steps at full speed towards the kitchen as his stomach growled. He couldn’t believe he’d slept so late, he’d make sure to set an alarm tomorrow. It was so stupid of him to sleep for so long.
A door clicked open in front of him, and he stopped just a few inches from where his nose would’ve collided with it.
“Little spider,” Natasha laughed, seeing him as the door shut. “Why are you in such a hurry?”
She continued walking, so Peter followed. “I accidentally fell asleep yesterday afternoon when I got home from school, and I just woke up.”
“Oh trust me, you didn’t miss much.” Natasha waved a hand. “The only person in the tower who doesn’t live here went to bed early, Steve and Bucky went on our last grocery trip till after the holidays, and Wanda made a few pie crusts.”
“I know, but-” Peter started, then stopped himself. Natasha had said he didn’t miss much, but she had been a part of this family for longer than he had. He had never spent a Christmas with the Avengers before, and it all felt so new and exciting to him. This was all old business to Natasha, she’d probably find him quite silly.
“What?” she asked, slowing down.
Peter stopped at the next landing to face her. “No, it’s probably dumb. Nevermind.”
“I’m sure it’s not dumb, come on, tell me. Or if it is dumb, then I will forget I heard anything.”
Peter’s lips twitched. “It’s just.” He sighed, but then decided he’d go for it anyway. “I’ve never been here during the holidays, and I just don’t want to miss any of it. I want to soak it all up, ya know?”
He scratched at the top of his head, but then abruptly put his hand back down, thinking the movement looked weird.
Natasha leaned against the stair railing. “Peter,” she smiled. “I was once new to this team too. I know the feeling of wanting to soak up every moment with this family. But trust me, they aren’t going anywhere, and neither are you.”
Peter smacked himself in the forehead. It had only occurred to him till after Natasha said it but it seemed obvious now. He should’ve known that she would understand. It was so silly of him to think he was the only one who had ever felt like this. Still, he knew Natasha wouldn’t take well to him opening the holiday with apologizing to her, so he moved on. “I know that, it just doesn’t feel like it.”
She placed a hand on his shoulder. “And that’s okay too. It took me a long time to get used to it.” She laughed. “Sometimes I think I’m still getting used to it. But remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint. You’re here for five whole days, don’t run yourself ragged trying to do everything.”
Peter blew a breath out, feeling a little less high strung. “Thanks Natasha.”
She squeezed his arm. “Anytime little spider.”
“Does that mean I can call you big spider?” Peter asked, now following her down the stairs.
She shook her head, chuckling. “I guess so. Just don’t ever say it in front of Clint, or I may have to kill you.”
“Noted.” Peter nodded even though she wasn’t looking at him. He wasn’t certain he would ever be brave enough to call her that to her face, but he saved it away just in case he needed it.
He entered the kitchen, counting four bodies occupying the space, and all sorts of delicious smells wafting around the area.
Natasha leaned in beside him, whispering. “Like I said, pace yourself.”
She walked off, continuing down the steps, and leaving Peter in the chaos. He stood completely still for a moment, unsure of what to do. It almost seemed like they were doing some sort of dance. Pots and pans flew above heads, spoons were passed back and forth, footsteps were carefully made around each other like they had choreographed it all in advance. Peter was worried that if he stepped in, he might throw them off rhythm.
His stomach growled angrily, reminding him that while his bite also made him able to sleep longer, it also meant he needed to eat much more.
“Guys, can I cut into the kitchen to get breakfast?” Peter yelled over simmering liquids and frying meats.
Wanda was the first to turn towards him. “Oh, morning Peter. Can I grab something for you?” She looked at the chaos surrounding her with wide eyes. “I think that would be easier at this point.”
“Yes please, if you could hand me the poptarts, I’ll get out of your hair.”
“Oh, do try the new chocolate flavored ones we got spiderling,” Thor said, turning around, whisk in hand. “They are quite delicious.”
“Yeah, I’ll have those if we’ve got ‘em.” Peter nodded. “Please,” he added on quickly.
Wanda flicked her fingers, and the pop tart box flew out of the cabinet. Peter was about to ask how she managed to direct her power so casually without hitting anyone, but then he realized the box was already in his hand.
“Hey, wait, we don’t just hand out food for free,” Bucky scoffed. “I thought we agreed the kitchen was a no touch zone when there were chefs in it.”
“Bucky, you’re making brownies. Calm down, you aren’t cooking up world peace,” Sam called out from the other side of the kitchen.
Bucky pointed a dirty spatula at him with such aggression that Peter let out a laugh. “That’s what you think, but for all you know, the moment you taste these all your problems could be cured.”
“Not unless your attitude disappears,” Sam guffawed.
Bucky rolled his eyes. “Seriously, Wanda, are you going to let this happen?”
Wanda looked about near her breaking point. “If by this you mean letting the boy eat his breakfast, then yes I do.”
Bucky groaned, and Peter couldn’t help but wonder who the teenager in the room was. “Can we at least make him help us?”
Wanda leaned against the counter, her hands on her hips. “Peter, I am currently dealing with actual children, so would you mind helping Bucky with the brownies when you’re done eating your breakfast? Steve was supposed to help him, but now none of us know where he’s got to.”
Peter nodded, shoving a poptart in his mouth. “Of course, I don’t mind helping.”
Wanda smiled fondly at him. “Thank you.” She covered the side of her mouth like it would prevent the others from hearing her as she fake whispered. “This is why you’re my favorite.”
The others protested, but she paid them no mind as she went back to her food. Peter took a few more minutes eating his fill in pop tarts until he joined Bucky in the kitchen. The sounds of automatic whisks, squeezing bottles, and bowls clanking against one another filled his ears.
“Alright, have you ever made brownies before?” Bucky asked, quite seriously.
Peter narrowed his eyes. “Yeah, who hasn’t? They come in a box.”
Bucky rolled his eyes for the second time in five minutes. “Homemade brownies Peter. Come on, who do you think I am?”
Peter held his hands up innocently. “Wasn’t trying to take away your brownie points.”
Bucky raised a brow. “Was that a pun?”
Peter tensed. “Maybe?”
He could tell Bucky was desperately trying to bite back a smile, and Peter snickered. “Alright, well, homemade brownies are a much more highly involved process.”
“Okay, so what do we need?” Peter asked, pushing his sleeves up to wash his hands.
Bucky listed off the ingredients and Peter rummaged around the kitchen to find them. However, even after five minutes of looking in the fridge, Peter couldn’t find the eggs.
He poked his head out of the fridge. “Guys, I think we’re out of eggs.”
He looked over to see Thor grimacing. “My apologies, between my breakfast this morning, and clarifying the mead, I think I used the last of them.”
Peter brushed him off, now opening the freezer. “That’s fine, we can just use applesauce.”
“No, we cannot!” Bucky protested. “It calls for eggs.”
Sam leaned around Wanda to look at them. “Barnes, have you never heard of a substitute?”
“No, you have to do the recipe exactly as it says, otherwise it won’t turn out.”
Wanda made cuckoo signs around his head, and Bucky whipped around. “What was that?”
“Nothing,” Wanda chirped, going back to whisking. She shot a wink at Peter and it took nearly all of his laughter to not burst out laughing.
Bucky threw his hands up. “What? I’m serious, you should never substitute things. It won’t turn out the same.”
Peter cocked a brow. “Didn’t you grow up during the depression?”
“Are you calling me old?” Bucky asked, his voice lilting.
Peter’s eyes went wide. “No! I mean, wouldn’t it have been common for you to have to substitute things?”
“Yes, which is why it’s not good!” Bucky nearly yelled.
Wanda stirred her soup. “My family had to substitute things all the time, and we were fine.”
Bucky crossed his arms. “And you’re telling me all of them tasted the same?”
Wanda nodded patiently. “Yes, you just have to know what you’re doing.”
Bucky crossed his arms. “Are you saying I don’t know what I’m doing?”
Wanda shrugged. “I mean, you didn’t even know that you should substitute applesauce for eggs. That’s pretty obvious, wouldn’t you agree Peter?”
Peter nodded, knowing better than to be on the opposing team of Wanda, and Tony’s earlier words playing in his mind. Bucky flicked him in the arm. “Ow,” Peter winced.
Wanda continued adding things to her soup as she spoke to Bucky. “It seems to me that this is more of a skill issue.”
Bucky sighed. “Wanda,” he said, his tone warning. Peter kept his eyes on both of them, sensing the rising tension and wondering where it would go.
“What?” she asked innocently, her eyes widened. “I think you might just be bad at baking, it’s alright, not everyone can be good at it.”
“Maximoff, I swear,” he started.
“Barnes, don’t swear in front of the kid!” she gasped, her eyes lighting up with mischief.
“Yeah!” Peter agreed indignantly.
Bucky narrowed his eyes. “He’s sixteen, he curses all the time.”
Wanda propped a hand up on her hip. “Peter, cover your ears, don’t listen to the man with the potty mouth.”
Peter followed her lead, putting his hands up on his head. “Yeah, Bucky, how dare you accuse me of such things!”
Bucky looked done with both of them. “Peter, you say shit about seventy times every time you’re in the lab.”
“How dare you! Peter would never do that!” Wanda said, looking like she was about to burst with how much laughter she was holding back.
“You know what Maximoff?” he said, his lip twitching.
She took a step closer. “What?” she asked, raising her brows. Peter backed up, having the innate sensation that one of them was going to snap and it wasn’t going to go well.
They were both perfectly still for a moment, and then Bucky struck. He grabbed her by the stomach with his metal arm, too quick for her to use her magic against him, and began scratching at her sides.
“Bucky,” she squealed, her legs kicking out at him and continually missing.
Peter did his best to fade into the shadows, suddenly forgetting his alliance. He knew how quickly the tables could turn, and how ruthless Bucky could be. Wanda hit out at his metal arm, her magic getting lost in between her laughter. “Are you going to stop giving me a hard time?” he asked.
“Nohoho,” she giggled, twitching all over the place as his fingers darted across her skin.
“Peter!” Wanda yelped. “Help me!”
Peter hesitated for a moment, but decided it would be in his best interest to keep the scarlet witch on his side.
With a quiet, “thwip!”, he webbed Bucky’s metal arm, pulling it behind his back to give Wanda an escape.
She fell to the floor in a heap of laughter, and Bucky let her go, not bothering to continue torturing her.
Peter was surprised he didn’t put up more of a fight, until he realized Bucky was slowly turning towards him.
“Wait,” Peter said, holding his hands in front of him. He had just poked a sleeping bear.
“Did you just web me?” Bucky asked, watching Peter out of the corner of his eye.
Peter could feel Thor behind him, and Sam watching the whole thing in interest now. All of his senses were suddenly alert, like he was about to go into battle. What all of his systems were currently telling him was that he needed to run, and quickly.
Without answering Bucky’s question, he leapt over the kitchen counter, sprinting towards the steps.
“Oh no you don’t, you pest,” he heard Bucky call after him.
Peter ran full force through the living room, thinking that if he could just make it to the steps and get the door shut behind him, then maybe he could make his escape.
He was a few steps away, just only a few more seconds and he would be free. His hand reached for the door, and he pushed it open. He got a foot in the door when a familiar cold arm wrapped around his middle.
“No!” Peter yelled, grabbing a hold of the door frame. He attempted to pull himself forward, but Bucky merely spidered his fingers in Peter’s armpits and he immediately lost his grip, his arms shooting down to protect himself.
Bucky threw him over his shoulder with an ease that Peter wasn’t used to.
“That’s not fair,” he protested. He tried to wiggle out of Bucky’s arms, but there was no give.
“No, what’s not fair is that you all get to act like little shits, and annoy me without any repercussions,” Bucky said, walking towards the couch.
Peter began to panic, squirming around like a bug caught in a web. He knew the moment that Bucky had him pinned he was done for.
“Bucky! Wait! We promise we won’t bother you anymore!” Peter said as a last ditch effort.
“You promise?” Bucky asked, standing directly over the couch.
“Promise.” Peter said, earnestly.
Bucky paused, beginning to set Peter down. Peter blew out a sigh of relief, then, Bucky reversed his direction and threw Peter forward onto the couch. “Too bad, I want my fun now.”
He jumped on top of him, pinning his arms above his head, and sitting on his thighs.
“Bucky, Bucky, wait!”” Peter called, nervous giggles already leaking out of him.
“Wait for what?” Bucky asked, his metal arm hovering over Peter’s stomach.
“Wanda, hELP!” Peter squealed, but was cut off as Bucky’s hand began fluttering everywhere he could reach.
“Just because you can’t bake, doesn’t mean you need to take it out on the rest of us!” Peter giggled.
“You know, I was going to take it easy on you since you just finished finals, but nevermind,” Bucky huffed. He began squeezing Peter’s ribs, softly brushing his thumb into each one.
“I take it back!” Peter wheezed, descending into frenzied cackles. It was a cruel move, targeting his ribs like that. It always sent Peter reeling, his body not knowing what to do with all of the sensations his skin was taking in, and Bucky was especially good at making him shriek.
“Oh, do you now?” Bucky teased, a terrifying smirk on his face.
“Yes!” Peter tugged at his arms in vain. It was no use, with Bucky at his full strength, and Peter weakened by his laughter, he couldn’t overpower him very easily. Still, that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try.
“Wanda save me!” he yelled, deciding it was in his best interest to rely on someone else’s power.
Peter faintly heard the sound of a door clicking open and prayed it was Tony. He also had a tendency of tickling him, but at least maybe he would accidentally distract Bucky long enough that he could escape.
To his horror though, the worst possible person had shown up. “What’d he do this time, Buck?” Steve asked, sounding unsurprised.
“Be a little shit like usual,” Bucky shrugged.
Steve came out of his peripheral vision, and walked in front of him, briefly wiggling his fingers over his socked feet. “STEVE!” Peter yelled, kicking out as much as he could with Bucky’s weight on his legs.
“Wow, I always forget how ticklish you are,” Steve tutted, removing his hand.
“Not helping!”
Bucky tasered his sides with his fingers. “He’s not trying to, he’s on my side unlike you other assholes.”
“Wanda!” Peter tried again, sensing the team up that was about to happen.
Bucky looked up at Steve, not stopping his attack on Peter while he did. “Oh yeah, Steve, would you mind going to deal with the red head over there?”
“What did she do?” Steve asked as if there wasn’t a teenager dying of laughter right beside them.
Bucky gestured down towards him, and Peter’s face lit up red. Something about being destroyed by laughter while they held a casual conversation made the sensations so much worse. “Same as Peter.”
Steve nodded. “Ah, I see.” He began walking towards her, and though Peter knew it would only further nail his coffin shut, he yelled over at her.
“Wanda save yourself!”
Bucky cocked his head, momentarily pausing. “You really don’t give up do you?”
Peter shook his head. “Friendly neighborhood spiderman.” He smiled sheepishly.
Bucky positioned his hands atop Peter’s ribs. “Well spiderman, you are far too ticklish to be this risky.”
Peter shrugged, his eyes alight with mirth. “At least I can bake.”
Bucky deadpanned, his fingers wrapping around the backs of Peter’s ribcage. “Okay, now you’re just asking for it.”
Bucky attacked, and Peter immediately fell back into his laughter. Loud cackles burst from his mouth as Bucky squeezed higher up on his ribs.
“Peter, oh my god, stay still, I’m trying to count all of your ribs.”
“Nohoh!” Peter squealed, having played this game with Tony too many times.
“Well now we’re going to have to start all over again,” Bucky huffed, squeezing each rib from the bottom to the top. Peter was going berserk, having one of his worst spots targeted for so long. He briefly opened his eyes and saw Wanda being thrown on the couch next to him. Steve didn’t give her a chance to escape and went straight for her neck.
He screeched as Bucky reached the tops of his ribs again, praying he wouldn’t start the process all over again. However, it was only when he felt Bucky’s fingers climbing higher still that he began to panic.
“Bucky, don’t you dare!”
Bucky paused for a moment, and Peter heaved in deep breaths while he was still able to. “Oh.” Bucky leaned in, smirking in a way that Peter knew that no amount of pleading would convince him to move anywhere else.
“I dare,” he hissed, then jammed his fingers into Peter’s armpits. Peter didn’t make any noise for a moment. He dug his heels into the couch, trying to find the leverage to throw Bucky off of him, he twisted around from side to side, trying to dislodge Bucky’s fingers. He would almost get adjusted to one side, then Bucky would start tickling his other armpit. However, his body was only able to contain the noise so long, and he burst into a scream.
“Shit, shit, shit!” Peter panickedly squeaked.
Bucky turned towards the other couch. “See, Wanda? I told you he curses.”
Peter could just barely hear her screams of laughter above his own, but he could’ve sworn she told him to shut up.
“Now,” Bucky said, turning his attention back to him. “If we can just manage to convince you I can bake.”
Peter was writhing on the couch, his laughter beginning to make his abdomen hurt. Though, he was admittedly not fighting as hard as he could. “You can’t though!” he yelled out.
“Okay, seriously, does anything tire you out?” Bucky said, momentarily pausing his hands.
Peter shook his head, his hair sticking to his forehead with sweat. “You’re maybe the only person I know who’s as stubborn as that guy back there,” Bucky teased, pointing to Steve, who was currently making light work of Wanda’s giggles.
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Peter smiled, heaving in air.
“It is one,” he smiled. He ruffled Peter’s hair gently, which Peter doubted he’d attempt if he wasn’t currently pinned underneath him. “However,” Bucky started, sitting upright. “Just like him, it’ll get you tickled a lot.”
Bucky released his arms, and Peter’s brows furrowed. He started to sit up, but Bucky had yet to get off of him. Without taking his weight off of him, he adjusted himself so he was still sitting on Peter’s legs, except he was facing the other way.
Suddenly, Peter’s face went white. “Wait, Bucky please no.”
“Can I bake, Parker?” he asked, without looking at him.
Peter sighed, laying back down so he could save some of his energy. “No,” he answered plainly.
“That’s what I thought,” Bucky sighed.
Bucky didn’t make Peter wait any longer for his payback and all ten of his fingers began dusting across his socked soles. Peter was sent into immediate hysterics. He gave up trying to plead with him, but he couldn’t stop his body from rolling around the couch as continual giggles poured from his mouth. Every so often he would snort if Bucky got him with a particularly good method, or if he would stray upwards to his toes, but Bucky continued until Peter got all of the laughter out of him.
However, once the tears started to prick at the corners of his eyes, he let up. “Have you learned anything today?” he asked, getting up and sitting next to him. Peter stayed laying down, catching his breath. He noticed that someone must have lit the fire because he could hear something crackling.
“Not much,” he breathed out.
“I figured.” Bucky patted his knee. “But I’m always happy to teach you again.”
Peter jumped up from the couch, nearly taking his shin out on the coffee table, and Bucky laughed. “Not now, I’m not cruel.”
Peter raised his brows. “Okay, I’m not that cruel,” Bucky deadpanned. Peter glared at him, though he knew he didn’t really mean it.
He sat back down next to him. “You deserve payback for that.”
Bucky bumped his shoulder against him. “I don’t think so, I didn’t start it.”
A red light flashed through the living room. “I would beg to disagree.”
Peter and Bucky turned to see Steve on the ground. “Peter, care to join me?” Wanda asked, grinning.
Bucky attempted to run, but all it took was one flick from Wanda’s wrist and he was on the ground.
“Sam help!” Bucky yelled. Sam started running towards him, but abruptly came to a stop.
Wanda held an orb of dark red power in her hand, eyeing him carefully.
He held his hands up, walking backwards towards the kitchen. “No, thank you.” He grabbed a hold of a bowl. “Someone’s gotta keep stirring your soup.”
Wanda smiled, her nose scrunching up.
“Care to humble some super soldiers for the holidays?” Wanda asked. She twisted her magic and Steve burst into bright giggles.
Peter always knew it was best to keep the scarlet witch on his side. “Absolutely,” he agreed.
The tower was filled with laughter for quite some time, and lots of threats were said with no real violence behind them. When all was said and done, Peter was absolutely certain he was in for a very interesting winter break with his family.
Taglist: @tenaciousperfectionunknown @teti-menchon0604 @tell-me-when-ur-ready
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liillyliilly · 1 year ago
Text
I Need A Challenge
ushijima wakatoshi x reader words; 3804 synopsis; she writes a scathing review of ushijima's volleyball skills. how else should he respond if not by inviting her out to dinner?
She was tired of people like him. People who had no reason to be so stereotypically perfect. Everyone knows the type, comically good looking, is a prodigy in their one specific thing, acting so nonchalant that it ends up becoming their token personality trait. It was all so boring to her.
Which is why, as she was taking notes in the most recent Volleyball Nations League game, she wrote down some very harsh words for her analysis of star spiker Ushijima Wakatoshi. It was just the brutally honest truth of the world, she reasoned. Her editor, after reading the article she wrote at the game, almost dropped their jaw in shock at what she had written.
“This is really,” Editor Xhou sucked in some air through his teeth, “This is almost borderline libel material.”
She inspected her nails, shrugging as Xhou kept talking to her.
“I mean, you said that he is, and I quote from your own words, ‘Ushijima is the default setting for a volleyball player, there’s nothing too particularly unique’. You want me to let the paper publish this?” Xhou leans back into his office chair, pushing his glasses up and sighing.
“I write the truth, and the truth is that when Ushijima is on the court, you always know the exact plays he’ll make, the exact moves he’ll execute. The result is consistently the same. The games are too predictable when he plays.” She stands up from the seat opposite to Xhou.
Xhou sets the paper on his desk, checking that she really is okay with the article having her name attached to it.
A thumbs up is the only response she gives to her supervisor.
Xhou stamps the paper with his name, and faxes the documents to the coordinator putting together the sports magazine review for this issue. He wonders if the legal team is going to get involved again, he remembers the last player she reviewed, he was crushed and had to move to Alaska to play in a much smaller league. Xhou fully believes he’s going to get the magazine sued for letting her article fly.
Tendou finishes his squat set, hanging up the weights with a heave. Ushijima finishes his hundredth bicep curl, finally finishing his repetitions of this exercise.
Tendou pokes some fun, “I'm so sad for people without legs, they have to skip leg day.” He muses, trying to see what reaction or comment his best friend will make. Tendou twists and flexes in the full length mirrors lining the gym.
Ushijima only responds with a nod. He checks his phone, only to see that he’s received a little over four hundred notifications and counting. The beeping and noises start to pile up. Tendou peeks over Ushijima’s shoulder and gasps, he steals Ushijima’s phone away and immediately investigates what all the hustle and bustle could be related to.
“You should probably read this article, I think the writer has it out for your throat Wakatoshi.” Tendou grimaces while handing the phone back.
He skims the article, viewing the main talking points and major issues the author brings to light about his play style. His boring, everyday genius playstyle. He’s read criticisms of his volleyball skills before, but this one doesn’t seem too targeted solely about him, just using him as the mechanism to get a broader point across about the lack of challenges in volleyball recently. He chuckles at one of her comments, reading it aloud.
“Monster generation? I need a real challenge from these players, but all they’re giving me is platinum dreams without true passion and anger for the sport. I want them foaming at the mouth with new tricks, but I’m getting the same exact game over and over again.” Tendou cringes as Ushijima reads the words out loud. Ushijima stifles another chuckle.
Ushijima tucks his phone into his pocket, picking up his duffel bag. “I like her. She knows volleyball.”
It wasn’t just her comments, it was also the name of the author that Ushijima liked.
Tendou drops his water bottle in response to Ushijima’s behavior, stunned at the openness of amusement he has for the article and for the investment he has for this particular reporter.
Ushijima’s manager says that she’ll have a cease and desist letter issued to the paper for publishing such a slanderous piece. Ushijima proposes an entirely different solution.
She didn’t expect to be sitting at a restaurant, pencil and paper in hand, waiting for someone she just dragged through the mud to arrive so they could share a meal and an interview.
It was winter, and her reading glasses had fogged up slightly in the difference between the outdoors temperature and the warmth of the restaurant. The main features of the restaurant was the Western Style dining choices and decor, it reminded her almost of a hibachi place, but instead of Japanese food it was just a bunch of American and European dishes.
“It’s nice to see you again.” Ushijima pulls out his chair and settles into it, grabbing his glass of water so he can drink from it.
“High school seemed so long ago, but yes it is nice to see you again Wakatoshi. Sorry for the piece, your name just carries the right amount of importance to get my bigger points across.” She crosses her legs, setting her pencil behind her ear. The waiter comes around and takes their orders. He asks for the salmon, and she gets the house soup.
“No, I totally get it. But the statement about how people just continually eat up the single dish I serve? I thought you would’ve found a better analogy for my consistency on the court.” He just smiles at her, watching her move the pencil from behind her ear to her mouth so she could chew on it a little. One of her tells of when she was deeply thinking about how to respond to something.
Ushijima remembers all the stories she would write back in high school, ranging from sports analysis of Shiratorizawa clubs for her journalism extracurricular to getting paid to write love letters from person to person. She garnered enough money to pay for a new laptop and her entire wishlist of stationery items.
He remembers her lending him a pen once during class, it was a weightier metal pen. The ink was so black he was sure it was made of pure darkness. While he admired the pen she went into a rant talking about the pen itself, the quality of it and how it took forever to be delivered to her. They both got chastised by the teacher for having a side conversation and had to sit outside the classroom. But they ended up talking outside the classroom despite being told not to.
“Like you’d know what a good analogy looks like.” She hides her smirk behind a spoonful of soup. Ushijima appreciates her ability to be unapologetic, her honesty and bluntness matching his own linguistic traits.
They talk for three hours, about volleyball, life after high school, the article she wrote, about friends and the situations they found themselves in. Ushijima talks about Tendou and his chocolatier aspirations, she brings up Semi Eita’s new album that actually sounded truly alternative and unique.
He remembers her having a crush on Semi throughout high school. He didn’t really see why she would sit at their practices sometimes, just sighing wistfully, before freezing and turning flustered when Semi tried to make conversation like a normal person. But when Semi was seen to be a slight habitual complainer, she grew a distaste for him. Ushijima was sure that Semi was her longest crush, clocking in at around two months or so.
Ushijima did enjoy that she came to their practices sometimes, because then he could ask her about her pen collection and she would openly, loudly, and enthusiastically layer on every detail she could fit into her remarks. And she was someone who asked him about his favorite things, primarily volleyball but also about reading the advertisements in the Weekly Shonen Jump Magazine. Or about how good a runner’s high could feel sometimes.
Around her, he could share without fear of being misunderstood. She just accepted what she heard, and then analyzed it, taking her time and asking clarifying questions. He did his best to emulate her mannerisms and tact within their conversations, usually failing, but she didn’t mind.
She did openly declare an aversion for him throughout high school, that genius powerhouses should never be entertained with acknowledgement. What others considered harsh from her was almost like beaming encouragement for him. It was like she was telling him, if he didn’t continually improve and advance then the stagnation would leave him in the dust. A push in the right direction was more accurate of why she would say what she did about him.
He takes the bill from her, puts his gold debit card on the clipboard, and returns it to the waiter before she can even open her purse. Rolling her eyes, she sets some bills on the table and slides it over to him. Glaring at him until he accepts the cash and puts the bills into his wallet.
“Are you dating anyone right now?” Ushijima inquires while they walk down the street to get to the train station. The night air leaves a chill around the two of them. He had his hands tucked into his pockets, and she had her arms folded over her body.
Snow falls from the sky, catching the lights and making streaks of color burst in small flickers like fireflies. The piled up snow in the roads hadn’t yet been plowed thoroughly, and wasn’t sullied with pollution that made it yellow and black. The snow was much more like a blanket.
“Listen, I’m what people consider easy to love but hard to please. Most people say they felt like they were never enough for me when we were dating.” She bites on her bottom lip a little. It’s a confusing feeling to be unnerved by him, and she feels even more uneasy when she realizes that she’s speaking too openly. “I don’t intentionally degrade those I date, I just, I have high expectations. I don’t give many second chances.”
His breath comes out in puffs of white, winter nipping at his nose which makes him feel uncomfortable. He wonders if she’s as cold as him. He knew that she had high expectations, none of the boys at their high school got remotely close to being romantically involved with her. She wanted more than what most people could offer. She wanted someone who was as open as her.
She feels a little guilty about her article now. Maybe she pushed the words a little too much on his bad qualities. Ushijima really wasn’t that bad, he was just dependable and rational, which crafted his playstyle of being an ultimate pillar of strength for a team. Why shouldn’t a team go with the most reliable way of scoring points? Then she shooed the thought. If volleyball wanted to keep being popular, it needed to evolve.
“I liked your article a lot.” He offers, segwaying the conversation, knowing her thoughts better than she knew them. “Power goes far, but even then, there’s ceilings that need to be broken. There’s talents that need to be unearthed, planted, and then allowed to bloom.”
They sit on the bench under the covering for the train station. The screen shows that the train she needs to take will come in around ten minutes.
“Thanks. My editor was worried you were going to sue me for what I wrote.” She laughs a little, rubbing her hands against her thighs to build up some lingering heat in her hands and her body.
He passes her his gloves from his jacket pocket. Making a small hum he waves them in front of her. She accepts and embraces the black fleece covering her fingers.
“Oh, no, there’s no way I’d want you to be sued. But I do want you to add another part to the article.” He blows some air onto his hands, rubbing them together. She raises an eyebrow inquisitively, turning towards him on the bench.
Once he had finished reading her piece on Ushijima’s game, he went through and read all her other articles. He found out her favorite current player was actually Hinata Shouyou, the energetic innovator. She had written about his unique approach, due to natural athleticism. Also about his experience in Brazilian beach volleyball making his defense skills unique in the field of both Japanese volleyball and on a global scale. It was all about Hinata this, Hinata that. But could the ultimate decoy ever compare to the pillar of strength?
“What do you want me to change? I can’t make any promises.”
“Say I’m your number one, because I don’t do last place.” Ushijima lifted her chin up, looking right into her eyes. He inspects her face, the small miniscule motions her features display show that she’s listening, actively listening. “Did I ever mention that you’re the only one that has my attention?”
She really was. The only reporter he cared to give quotes to after big games, the only girl who he ever wondered if there was any possibility to develop a relationship with. He was hooked on every word she wrote, every interview she hosted online. She was in his world, but never overlapped her social circle with his for longer than an hour at best.
She swallows thickly, “I’m sorry to say this, but I really am unimpressed by your playstyle.”
He raises an eyebrow, sliding his hand from her chin to the side of her neck. He can feel the way her pulse is racing under her skin.
“We both know that’s not true.”
Her train arrived. She ducked under his hand and made her way onto the train. Before the sliding door closes, she motions him closer so she doesn't have to yell.
“Then show me your talents. I need a challenger for my first place.”
Tendou lies on his stomach on the floor, Ushijima is reviewing some plays written by his coach. He scans for any play that could show off his left hand spikes, or any play that he could try and improvise a receive if he wasn’t on the front row rotation. The plays are different from what he’s used to. But his coach said that they were all optional, and that Ushijima’s playstyle was perfectly fine as it was. But ‘fine as is’ doesn’t earn him any accolades in her book.
Tendou perks up, “I always felt like fighting had romantic undertones.” He references what Ushijima had told him about how the dinner with his reporter went last week.
“But I don’t want to fight her? I’d hardly call a slight disagreement a fight.” Ushijima sets aside the packet he had been studying.
He opens his phone and refreshes the webpage for the newspaper she worked for. When nothing pops up under her name, he goes to the calendar page to see if she’d be attending an upcoming game he’d be playing in. He sets his phone aside when he realizes she will in fact be in attendance.
“But you do want to fight for her ‘first place’ hottie player ranking.” Tendou kicks his feet in the air, crossing his feet and tapping the top of his head.
Ushijima stands up and goes to check his closet, seeing if he needs to get a tighter jersey for the upcoming game. “She never used the word ‘hottie’ when talking about her favorite player.”
“So you admit that you do want to be her favorite player?”
Ushijima finishes trying on the jersey over his long sleeve compression shirt, the jersey fitted better than he remembered. He tugs on the front of the uniform. Then what Tendou said clicks for him.
Ushijima blinks, “I do want to be her favorite player.” He doesn’t see why he would deny that observation. Being her favorite player would be the ideal situation for him.
Tendou rolls over onto his back and wiggles his pointer fingers in the air, “You want to be more than just her favorite player.” He sings the words in a teasing manner.
“Maybe I do.”
One time, near the end of high school, she was talking during lunch. Her friends were uninterested, wanting to discuss boys or homework instead of her critical worldview analysis. Her table was right next to the table that Ushijima and Tendou were sitting at, their volleyball friends already outside tossing around a ball.
Ushijima listened in, drinking his milk while Tendou ate chicken nuggets. When her voice got quieter, almost to the point of fading out entirely due to her slowly realizing her friends were not as interested in the conversation as she was, Ushijima leaned in subconsciously, trying to catch her words.
Tendou pinched Ushijima, telling him that if he wanted to listen to her, he should ask her to come sit with them. Ushijima froze. So Tendou invited her to come sit with them. Placing her lunch tray down, she ate a carrot, sensing Ushijima’s hesitance and Tendou’s eagerness.
It was Ushijima that spoke first, “Keep going. You remind me of someone. He said almost the same thing, about his worthless pride and not forgetting about it.”
She brightens. Continuing her dissection of the value of pride, she refers to Ushijima as a reference point for pride. Using him in her examples and demonstrations of her illustrative examples. Around the third time she says his family name, he makes another request.
“You can just call me Wakatoshi.”
Tendou drops his chicken nugget, but quickly regains his pace in eating the arms off the dinosaurs.
She says his name, once and then twice. Letting it settle onto her tongue and leave a trace of what a first name basis could mean. Pondering on that instead of her newest philosophy interest is quickly dropped. She only ever calls him by his name from then on.
Needless to say, the next game he plays at, she’s there, with her notepad and pen. Each receive, hit, serve, and toss is carefully recorded on her paper.
He doesn’t do anything too off the typical, but he does try new things his coach had mentioned. Pressuring an opponent’s highest scorer more, trying a few block kills when he’s in the right rotation, scoring some points off the tip of the blockers hands instead of cutting right through their attempts to defend. He’s more tired after this game than his last one. Yet, he had more fun this time around. His teammates seemed thrilled with the results of never having a gap less than five points.
After the game, before he goes to the locker room to debrief with the team and change into regular clothes, he stalks his way over to her. She’s talking to another reporter that had been sitting in the media section, but the other reporter just elbows her lightly when he notices Ushijima making an attempt to approach. The other man slowly walks away, bidding her a farewell.
She’s still sitting on the bench, cheekily covering her notes with her hand, and writing something down. When he takes a place next to her, he spreads his legs a little, expanding his presence and bumping their thighs into each other. She initially retracts from the touch, but relaxes into it.
He’s aware that his body is thinly sheened with sweat. It drips from the hair at his nape down his back and soaks into his player kit. She brings her notepad up to her face, looking at him over the spiral binding of the paper. Trying to hide her comments and analysis of the game, which had been overwhelmingly positive for Ushijima.
“What’s your professional opinion of the game?” He uses a finger to push down her notepad that was covering her nose. A streak of ink and pencil lead was across her cheek and nose. He brought his thumb up and wiped away the markings. At first swipe, nothing moved, so he slid his thumb over again with just a little more pressure.
“It was entertaining in a different sense. Rather than being solely athletic entertainment.” She licks her own thumb and finishes wiping away all the marks that she could feel him trying to get rid of. She misses a sliver on the apple of her cheek but he doesn’t say anything, enjoying the way that it makes her seem less intimidating and more adorable.
“Care to share with the class?”
“Well, when a certain player keeps trying to make eye contact during the game, when he should instead be invested in the game, it does pose some interesting investigative questions.”
At this point, Ushijima slid his hand to her thigh, asking her to explain further, “Such as?”
“When will he get up the nerve to ask her on a date? Will he take her for a ride in that brand new car he got? Does he need glasses from how frequently it seemed he scrutinized the audience in search of her?” She pauses, then continues, “And will he be mad if she writes something about how attentive the setter was during the game?”
“Soon, for the date. Most definitely a long car ride to the mountains. His vision is actually perfectly 20/20, he just wanted to make sure she was having a good time by observing her reactions. No comments for the setter, he’s a rookie, and much less attentive than an older, more experienced player.”
She hums a little in regards to his answers to her inquiries. Soon, she tugs on the back of his hand, the hand that was resting on her thigh. She bites the cap off her pen, waving the pen in the air, close enough to his skin for him to understand the point of what she was communicating.
The pen tickled the skin of his hand, but he liked the way she put one hand under his to make his hand rest flat so she could write her piece on his body. Capping the pen back up, she tucked it behind her ear.
Written on his hand was a series of numbers, along with a small doodle of a volleyball.
Getting up from her spot on the media bench, she leaves him with a short statement.
“I liked your response to my challenge. Keep making the Monster Generation bloom with each game Wakatoshi.” She halts for a moment, then turns back to him, “You can be my number one on those conditions. Blooming the Monsters and responding to my challenges.”
He’d return every challenge she gave him if it meant he could be hers.
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log-ladys-log · 1 month ago
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Writing Assassins
One of my favourite tropes is the assassin and especially assassins of the Manchurian Candidate variety. I love everything that comes with the human weapon character—the discussions of autonomy and guilt. I love when the characters are broken and remoulded against their will. Good stuff.
Increasingly, I have noticed characters who are assassins only in title. There are multiple reasons this has been happening, but I think one of the problems going on is that the assassin has been pushed through a game of telephone. People know the archetype so they recreate it in their own work without properly researching. I’m not an expert on assassins or assassinations, but I have thoughts and wants as a person who really enjoys the trope.
As with all discussions around writing, not all of these points will apply to every story. An assassin living in the Cold War is going to operate differently than one in the Shogunate era. Different genres also have different expectations and variations on the archetype. A rogue assassin in a medieval fantasy story has less expectations of realism than the femme fatale assassin in a political thriller. However, I find it incredibly sexy when a writer takes a grounded approach with their fantasy—a little nonfiction in my fiction. This is a personal taste. I’ve tried my best to frame my thoughts in a way that can be applied most broadly across genres and settings.
At the most basic level, assassins are people who killed someone of importance.  The vast majority of assassins in history weren’t guns-for-hire. They were fed up people. Professional assassins are largely fiction, which is fine because chances are you’re writing fiction. I do think it would be fun to see more one-off assassin types.
What are you character’s motives? Your character being an orphan is not reason enough for them to be an assassin. It is a huge decision for a character to be willing to throw away the rest of their life in order to kill another person, to trade their life to take another. No one casually decides to become a murderer, especially not a professional one. Murder is deeply intimate. You’ve got to build a relationship/conversation between the assassin, the victim, and in guns-for-hire situations, the client. Now when I say relationship/conversation, I don’t necessarily mean a tangible one more so their should be aspects about their character and being that compare and contrast with each other. In How to Write a Damn Good Mystery, author James N. Frey talks about how your detective and your culprit should be foils to each other. I believe the same should be said for your assassin, victim, client trifecta.
Keep the kill counts within reason. This is what inspired me to make this post. All too often, I will see assassin characters with their kill count in the 100s plus. Instead of showing me that your character is a badass, it shows me that you haven’t thought your character through. Yes, most of the lauded, “most deadly” snipers in history have kill counts in the 100s, but they were also soldiers fighting a war. They didn’t have to worry about legal repercussions for their actions. An assassination takes months if not years of planning. If your character is an undead or immortal assassin, I wouldn’t bother mentioning an exact figure for a kill count. It still has that sort of lazy short-cut to badass feel. In Captain American: the Winter Soldier, Natasha tells Steve that the Winter Soldier is credited with over two dozen assassinations in the last fifty years. To state the obvious, two dozen is twenty-four. That number is just credited assassinations, and likely doesn’t include the people caught in the crossfire along the way. The number feels reasonable given the time span.
“Beware of an old man in a profession where men usually die young.” This is an old adage that I quoted in my post about writing violence. Across conflicts, it has been shown that the longer you are on the frontline the less likely you are to die. Survival of the fittest and all that. If you want to show your audience that your professional assassin is good at what they do, make them older.
Head shots are mostly fictional. They rose in popularity after the assassination of JFK, and they’re often used to show that the gunman is really good at their job. However, outside of close range situations, your assassin isn’t going to targeting the head. Yes, a hit to the head is more than likely fatal, but it’s also a small target on the move. Snipers are trained to aim for the t-zone, which is around the clavicle. It’s a larger area that remains fairly steady no matter how the person is moving and if you hit anywhere in the area, it will be a kill shot. (Now, I’m not a professional marksman, so any snipers feel free to correct me on this point.)
Perfect marksmen kill tension. Your character is going to miss a shot now and again. That doesn’t make them weak; it makes them human. It also helps build tension. Your audience should not be able to answer the question “will they make the shot?” right away. Have their jobs go wrong, and if they still manage to complete it, that’s what will make them badass.
Know your weapons. If your assassin uses a gun, you better know the difference between a clip and magazine. I’d recommend picking a very specific gun for your character, and then researching the hell out of it. What’s its history? What were its innovations from the previous model? What type of ammunition does it take? If you can, ask someone you know with guns if they would teach you how to use them. If your character uses poison, learn as much as you can about it. Does a person ingest it, or can it be absorbed through the skin? If it can be absorbed, how long does it last on a surface? How are you guaranteeing the mark gets it? Choice of weapon can show us a lot about a character, but it can also just as easily show us that the writer has no clue what they are talking about. Don’t be the person who thinks a “silencer” makes a gun silent.
Know your world. Anytime you are dealing with criminal or intelligence type elements, you need to research and understand intimately how the world they are living in works. When I say world, I mean both the physical world and the world as your character understands it. Learn the lingo. Learn how real life people operated. What are the political structures? What’s the geography and architecture like? How do the small things like locks work? Remember you’re not just world-building you’re also casing the joint.
A feared or infamous assassin is an oxymoron. This could also be called the James Bond problem. If your character is known as the greatest spy the world, then they’re probably not actually that good of a spy. The same goes for assassins. Now, this can also be worked with, depending on your world-building. Maybe they’re known in certain circles or people know of their work but not their identity. This also ties back into kill counts. At some point, a too high of a kill count will draw eyes, and it will end your assassin’s career.
If you have drugs in the car, drive the speed limit. A character who works outside the law has to be cautious with what laws they break. This is where you can get some interesting internal character tension. Assassin and sniper-types may be thrill-seekers or adrenaline junkies. It would not be out of character for them to enjoy speeding down a highway, but they can’t because of their career choice. Remember, they got Al Capone on tax evasion.
That all leather outfit and greased-back hair totally isn’t suspicious. This is similar to the point above, but the assassin’s job is to go unseen. They’re going to be dressed comfortably and in layers.
There are no hard and fast rules in writing. That’s one of the great things about it. If there’s anything you want me to expand on, let me know. If you have any topics you want to see covered, also let me know. I don’t bite often.
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maybeitsalive · 7 months ago
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Philip Marlowe, BI: Novels quotes (part 2)
(Part 1)
The little sister
Chap 30
“He didn’t speak much, but when he did he had a nice voice, a soft-water voice. And he had a smile that warmed the whole room. “Wonderful casting,” I said, looking at him across the cards. We were playing double Canfield. Or he was. I was just there, watching him, watching his small and very neat and very clean hands go out across the table and touch a card and lift it delicately and put it somewhere else. When he did this he pursed his lips a little and whistled without tune, a low soft whistle, like a very young engine that is not yet sure of itself” (...) “He moved another card and flexed his fingers lightly. His nails were bright but short. You could see he was a man who loved to move his hands, to make little neat inconspicuous motions with them, motions without any special meaning, but smooth and flowing and light as swansdown. They gave him a feel of delicate things delicately done, but not weak. Mozart, all right.”
The Long Goodbye
ALL THE BOOK. He's in love with Terry Lennox and that's it, that's the book. In this case, it’s more about how he acts and the things he doesn’t say that are telling. No quote can give a clue about the insanity that is this novel. Here’s my best try:
Chap 1
(About Terry:)
“I drove home chewing my lip. I’m supposed to be tough but there was something about the guy that got me. I didn’t know what it was unless it was the white hair and the scarred face and the clear voice and the politeness. Maybe that was enough.”
Chap 3
(After learning that Terry got re-married in the papers, Marlowe has this casual normal reaction:)
I threw the paper into the corner and turned on the TV set. After the society page dog vomit even the wrestlers looked good. But the facts were probably right. On the society page they better be. I had a mental picture of the kind of eighteen-room shack that would go with a few of the Potter millions, not to mention decorations by Duhaux in the last subphallic symbolism. But I had no mental picture at all of Terry Lennox loafing around one of the swimming pools in Bermuda shorts and phoning the butler by R/T to ice the champagne and get the grouse atoasting. There was no reason why I should have."
(Marlowe & Terry:)
“What I don’t get is why a guy with your privileges would want to drink with a private eye.” “Are you being modest?” “Nope. I’m just puzzled. I’m a reasonably friendly type but we don’t live in the same world. I don’t even know where you hang out except that it’s Encino. I should guess your home life is adequate.” “I don’t have any home life.”
Chap 8
“If you had had a grain of sense you’d have told the police you hadn’t seen Lennox for a week. It didn’t have to be true. Under oath you could always have told the real story. There’s no law against lying to the cops. They expect it. They feel much happier when you lie to them than when you refuse to talk to them. That’s a direct challenge to their authority. What do you expect to gain by it?” I didn’t answer. I didn’t really have an answer.”
Chap 10
(Marlowe & Morgan, a journalist:)
“Thanks for the ride, Morgan. Care for a drink?” “I’ll take a rain check. I figure you’d rather be alone.” “I’ve got lots of time to be alone. Too damn much.” “You’ve got a friend to say goodbye to,” he said. “He must have been that if you let them toss you into the can on his account.” “Who said I did that?” He smiled faintly. “Just because I can’t print it don’t mean I didn’t know it, chum. So long. See you around.”
Chap 11
(about Terry:)
“I owned a piece of him. I had invested time and money in him, and three days in the icehouse, not to mention a slug on the jaw and a punch in the neck that I felt every time I swallowed. Now he was dead and I couldn’t even give him back his five hundred bucks. That made me sore. It is always the little things that make you sore.”
(Menendez:)
“Don’t kid me, Marlowe. You didn’t spend three days in the freezer just because you’re a sweetheart.”
(oh yes he did)
(About Menendez – wait for it:)
“How about half a dozen of these?” I asked him and hit him as hard as I could in the middle of his belly. He doubled up mewling. The cigarette case fell to the floor. He backed against the wall and his hands jerked back and forth convulsively. His breath fought to get into his lungs. He was sweating. Very slowly and with an intense effort he straightened up and we were eye to eye again. I reached out and ran a finger along the bone of his jaw. He held still for it.”
Chap 12
(Terry’s letter:)
“So forget it and me. But first drink a gimlet for me at Victor’s. And the next time you make coffee, pour me a cup and put some bourbon in it and light me a cigarette and put it beside the cup. And after that forget the whole thing. Terry Lennox over and out. And so goodbye.” “I did what he asked me to, sentimental or not. I poured two cups and added some bourbon to his and set it down on the side of the table where he had sat the morning I took him to the plane. I lit a cigarette for him and set it in an ash tray beside the cup. I watched the steam rise from the coffee and the thin thread of smoke rise from the cigarette.”
Chap 21
“I sat there for a while taking life seriously. Then I tried to think of something funny so that I could have a great big laugh. Neither way worked, so I got Terry Lennox’s letter of farewell out of the safe and reread it. It reminded me that I had never gone to Victor’s for that gimlet he asked me to drink for him. It was just about the right time of day for the bar to be quiet, the way he would have liked it himself, if he had been around to go with me. I thought of him with a vague sadness and with a puckering bitterness too.”
Chap 22
“I said: “I’m a fellow who knew Terry Lennox, liked him, and had an occasional drink with him. It was kind of a side deal, an accidental friendship. I never went to his home or knew his wife. I saw her once in a parking lot.” “There was a little more to it than that, wasn’t there?” She reached for her glass. She had an emerald ring set in a nest of diamonds. Beside it a thin platinum band said she was married. I put her in the second half of the thirties, early in the second half. “Maybe,” I said. “The guy bothered me. He still does.”
Chap 35
“The other part of me wanted to get out and stay out, but this was the part I never listened to. Because if I ever had I would have stayed in the town where I was born and worked in the hardware store and married the boss’s daughter and had five kids and read them the funny paper on Sunday morning and smacked their heads when they got out of line and squabbled with the wife about how much spending money they were to get and what programs they could have on the radio or TV set. I might even have got rich — small-town rich, an eight-room house, two cars in the garage, chicken every Sunday and the Reader’s Digest on the living room table, the wife with a cast iron permanent and me with a brain like a sack of Portland cement. You take it, friend. I’ll take the big sordid dirty crooked city.”
("a heterosexual way of life will ruin you" is a recurrent theme)
Chap 39
“You were pretty helpful to a guy named Lennox too, the way I hear it. And you didn’t make a dime out of that one either. What do you do for eating money, pal? You got a lot saved so you don’t have to work any more?” I stood up and walked around the desk and faced him. “I’m a romantic, Bernie. I hear voices crying in the night and I go see what’s the matter. You don’t make a dime that way. You got sense, you shut your windows and turn up more sound on the TV set. Or you shove down on the gas and get far away from there. Stay out of other people’s troubles. All it can get you is the smear. The last time I saw Terry Lennox we had a cup of coffee together that I made myself in my house, and we smoked a cigarette. So when I heard he was dead I went out to the kitchen and made some coffee and poured a cup for him and lit a cigarette for him and when the coffee was cold and the cigarette was burned down I said goodnight to him. You don’t make a dime that way. You wouldn’t do it. That’s why you’re a good cop and I’m a private eye.”
Chap 53
All of it. All of it.
Playback
who? I don't know her.
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lucky-clover-gazette · 1 year ago
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captive prince book 1 highlights & annotations
chapter 3
indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!
also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!
i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.
this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.
The Regent keeps him around. No idea how the Prince got him in the ring, but that one would do anything to piss off his uncle.
context: laurent wanted damen to lose—we know this because of the drugging. but i suppose that annoying the regent with govart's loss was a consolation prize? and he would have been... equally annoyed, if govart won? laurent cannot possibly think that the regent cares about govart's well-being, but maybe govart is a reflection of his authority. honestly, not too sure about this one.
craft note: “piss off” is a great anachronism here
Laurent might talk like he’d been raised on the floor of a brothel, but he had a Veretian courtier’s mind, used to deception and double dealing.
maybe try to make it sound like less of a compliment
‘I wouldn��t have thought of that. He has a mind for details.’ ‘Yes, I’m learning that,’ said Damen.
Maybe he just wanted another chance to fight something. Preferably an insufferable yellow-haired princeling.
‘Today, in the baths, you will serve.’ ‘Serve?’ said Damen.
he is technically serving cunt. a cunt named laurent
Laurent reclined against the tiled wall, settling his shoulders flat against it.
laurent lean #2
Laurent rearranged himself against the wall into a position that looked even more indolently comfortable than the one before.
laurent lean #3. also, this line is very funny
Those sweet blue eyes gazed at him.
normal reaction to an implied death threat
'Your little speech about fair play fooled me about as much as your show of obedience.'
context: laurent can’t conceive of damen being a decent person without an ulterior motive. given the fact that he's spent the past seven years in the regent's court, i can't really blame him
For Laurent was all of a piece: his body had the same impossible grace as his face. He was lighter built than Damen, but his body wasn’t boyish. Instead, he possessed the beautifully proportioned musculature of a young man on the new cusp of adulthood, made for athletics, or statuary.
damen has no idea how much it would probably mean to laurent to be seen as definitively non-boyish
The water was hot when it pulsed up from the ground, and hot when he poured it from the silver pitcher. The air was hot. He was conscious of it. He was conscious of the rise and fall of his chest, of his breathing, of more than that.
craft note: awareness of non-sexual physical sensation (heat, breathing, etc.) helps to build up tension. also, the repetition here is neat.
He remembered that in Akielos he had been washed by a slave with yellow hair. Her colouring had matched Laurent’s so closely they might have been twinned. She had been far less disagreeable.
damen likes blondes mention #3. another favorable comparison towards laurent, although he does get points off for being a bitch
‘Don’t be presumptuous,’ said Laurent, coldly. ‘Too late, sweetheart,’ said Damen. Laurent turned, and with calm precision unleashed a backhanded blow that had easily enough force to bloody a mouth, but Damen had had quite enough of being hit, and he caught Laurent’s wrist before the blow connected.
the girls are fightingggggg
craft note: i really like “damen had had quite enough of being hit.” it’s a massive understatement, which for damen’s characterization and the book’s sense of humor works perfectly.
He felt the tension hit Laurent’s body, though the tone didn’t change overmuch from its usual drawl. ‘But my voice has broken. That was the only prerequisite, wasn’t it?’ Damen released his grip, as though burned. A moment later, the blow he had thwarted landed, harder than he could have imagined, smashing across his mouth. ‘Get him out of here,’ said Laurent.
the amount of times i had to re-read this conversation and previous dialogue, to understand what the hell was going on between the lines...
context: damen previously made a flippant comment about not assaulting people whose voices haven’t dropped. it was meant as a dig towards the court of vere, which enables csa.
laurent wants an excuse to torture and/or kill damen while his uncle is away—knows that the court would see this retribution as justifiable if damen were to attempt an assault of the veretian prince.
laurent brings damen to the baths in order to essentially make his case for his revenge. he needs to create circumstances in which retribution is justified, and since sex = power to laurent—just another strategy—he sees a way to make that happen by teasing damen. he does not expect to feel anything while enacting this plan, as he is very used to dissociating during these kinds of situations.
laurent: “don’t be presumptuous” = “stop assuming we’re going to have sex, even though it was my plan to put us both in this intentionally erotic situation. i’m more uncomfortable than i thought i would be with this and i’m deflecting.” 
damen: “too late, sweetheart” = “i am smug about the fact that this is making you uncomfortable. also, you’re hot, and i might as well enjoy the view.” 
laurent: “but my voice is broken, that was the only prerequisite” = “by your own joking admission, i now have every reason to assume you’re going to assault me—and your obvious arousal does not help your case.” 
damen, who has absolutely no intention to sexually assault laurent, is shocked by this and pulls away.
He had resisted the provocation to violence exactly because he had known he would end up suffering consequences. And now here he was, for no better reason than that Laurent, possessing a pleasing shape, had left off talking just long enough for Damen’s body to forget his disposition.
i love the implication that laurent is only attractive as long as he isn’t talking. damen is great at backhanded insults too!
‘I should have done this to you the day you arrived,’ said Laurent. ‘It’s exactly what you deserve.’
context: damen is not just some random akielion to laurent. laurent knows that he is damianos, and that damianos killed auguste, leading to seven years of abuse, sexual assault, and isolation for laurent within the regent's court. what he does here—having damen flogged to near-death—is still bad, but at least there’s more depth to the badness than damen or a first-time reader would understand.
from damen's pov, and for a first-time reader, this entire situation is sadistic and impersonal. but with full awareness of laurent's perspective, i can understand that it is essentially cathartic revenge. losing auguste to damen's blade forced laurent to experience the kind of trauma that changes a person forever. the person he has become is a reflection of that trauma, and damen is the ultimate scapegoat.
also, flogging is not exactly cruel or unusual punishment in this world—in fact, damen mentions that he's done it himself to akielion soldiers. it's notable that instances of damen's subtle hypocrisy appear in these earlier chapters: the flogging, parallels between kastor's rule and the regency, and akielion slavery. pacat is methodically building a house of cards with damen's unreliable narration from the start.
(when i call damen an unreliable narrator, it's not because i think he's a bad person or protagonist. he's an unreliable narrator in the same way that holden caulfield is an unreliable narrator: heartbreakingly earnest, ignorant due to inexperience, and within the ethos of the novel, ultimately Good.)
‘You are cold-blooded and honourless. What held back someone like you?’ It was the wrong thing to say. ‘I’m not sure,’ said Laurent, in a detached voice. ‘I was curious what kind of man you were. I see we have stopped too early. Again.’
this first book really is just the two of them playing a high-stakes game of “are you a good person” chicken
‘I was on the field at Marlas,’ said Laurent. As the words penetrated, Damen felt the world reshape itself around him. ‘They wouldn’t let me near the front. I never had the chance to face him. I used to wonder what I’d say to him if I did. What I’d do. How dare any one of you speak the word honour? I know your kind. A Veretian who treats honourably with an Akielon will be gutted with his own sword. It’s your countryman who taught me that. You can thank him for the lesson.’ ‘Thank who?’ Damen pushed the words out, somehow, past the pain, but he knew. He knew. ‘Damianos, the dead Prince of Akielos,’ said Laurent. ‘The man who killed my brother.’
i went into the context for this already, but i do just think it's insane that laurent is both torturing and gaslighting the person who ruined his life. like, remember the guy from the princess bride? "my name is inigo montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die." laurent is essentially doing the same thing with damen here—cathartic and premeditated revenge killing, karma's a bitch, an eye for an eye—but instead he's like "my name is laurent of vere, you were present in the battle where someone else murdered my brother (i know that you know you actually did it), prepare to be tortured and possibly killed based on my own unpredictable and sadistic whims. whore."
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beauty-and-passion · 1 year ago
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TMA - Chapters 61-70: Waking up and choosing violence
Hello everyone and welcome back to another week of ramblings about TMA, its characters and, most importantly, its mysteries. Will I ever find an answer to at least one of them? I doubt it, but I’ll keep putting together as many pieces as possible and one day I’ll prove to everyone that the All Michael Theory is the only valid one. And not just because it’s the silliest.
<< Main Masterlist < Previous post 
_______________________________
MAG 61 - Hard Shoulder
Wow, what a start!
We have a new voice: Alice “Daisy” Tonner joins the cast and proves herself to be one of the most badass women - as well as another character who woke up and chose violence. Huge respect for her (with a sprinkle of fear).
Basira suspected Jon was Gertrude’s killer? You know what? From the police’s perspective, this reasoning makes sense: it doesn’t seem like Gertrude had any relatives and Jon was the only one close to her (at work, at least). And, as Daisy said, he showed a ton of weird behaviors and weird behaviors are the first red flag for a suspect. Also, Jon is the only one who actually gained something from Gertrude’s death and that’s even more suspicious.
Awww, Jon was sad Basira suspected of him! Is he starting to feel something from her? Will he end up asking her phone mumber, then a date, then her hand in marriage?
I also find it very interesting that Jon asked Daisy to tell him something about the supernatural events she dealt with. It’s the first time Jon actively wanted a statement. Even weirder, he didn’t ask for a specific one, but any statement. “Whatever you like”, he told her.
That’s a bit odd, isn’t it? In season 1, Jon said he was getting too involved in the statements, now he’s actively asking for new ones. Is this all related to the “crimson fate”/curse? Is this Big brother’s influence? If I was right by saying that Big Brother can somehow “eat” the statements, that means Jon is unconsciously feeding this supernatural shit?
Speaking of the statement, I was HYPED when I found out that the delivery van was from Breekon & Hopes deliveries. Even better, they were transporting the coffin! Coffin from MAG 2 my beloved! And we also find out what’s inside it!
Once again, I’ll quote Jon: the content was surprising, indeed. I expected some creepy shit to come out but we got a weird staircase going somewhere down. It just made me even more curious about the coffin’s origin and now I want to know more: where does that staircase bring? I hope we will find out in some future statement.
Also, what’s with that weird static/vibration? I thought it was just a background sound added by TMA’s author to create the right atmosphere. But since it was mentioned in the transcripts too, I’m starting to fear it has something to do with the plot. Is it related to Micheal? Or Daisy? Or maybe the tape recorder suddenly broke because yes? No idea, but I love that we’re starting with so many mysteries.
_______________________________
MAG 62 - First Edition
HOLY SHIT, MARY KEAY.
Yep, that was my reaction when I found out who this “Mary” was. And her voice is adorably creepy. Love it.
But as Jon said, there is a lot here. And by a lot I mean A LOT.
*
1) Mary and the Institute
The Keays worked for the Institute?! Of course, that’s how they found out about a lot of this weird shit, gosh I feel so stupid for not realizing it sooner!
But Mary also talks about her mother’s “slavish devotion to you and your patron”. Who is the patron? Elias? A member of the Lukas family? Big Brother itself?
*
2) Same side?!
Mary said she and Gertrude are on the same side “Even if Elias disagrees”. That can mean two things only:
Mary Keay is on Big Brother’s & the Lukas' side, even if Elias thinks she’s not so trustworthy
Mary Keay is on the opposite side, but she doesn’t know her job is actually helping Elias/the Lukas/Big Brother
Which theory is the right one? It depends on what side Gertrude was: if she was against Big Brother it’s one thing, if she was pro Big Brother it’s a different one.
*
3) Powers that watched over?
It’s very telling that Mary said Dr. Margaret Tellison was “touched by powers like those that watched over our family”. That confirms the Keays are associated with a supernatural shit - or that a supernatural shit watches over them, at least. Which one? Gosh, I hope to find out.
But also: if there was a supernatural shit watching over them, the Keays should worship it, right? So, why did Mary say “I’ve always found a singular devotion far too restrictive”? Maybe she doesn’t just worship the one watching over them, but a lot of different ones?
On a side note: who the fuck is Eric?
*
4) A Not-Leitner - and actually not a single one was
And here on the left, we can see TMA’s author trolling me with the book that drops bones, by making me think that yes, that’s surely a Leitner. It was also in Leitner’s weird hidden library, of course it’s a Leitner.
And here I find out that actually no, it’s just a fucking pointless book and it was gifted to Leitner by Mary Keay herself.
So not only we find out the Keays and Leitner interacted, but Mary gifted him a book and in MAG 35, among all the 200 Leitners that he could’ve picked from the hidden library, Gerard chose that one: the most useless one. Maybe mommy didn’t teach him well enough how to find them.
But also: Gertrude asked Mary “Who does the book come from?”, which implies Leitner didn’t write it. And Mary herself opened her statement by saying he “collected” them.
That means Leitner never actually wrote these books. He just put a stamp on them. This Norwegian motherfucker simply took books from all the supernatural shits and collected them in his secret library.
What an absolute fucker, he tricked me into thinking he was some kind of evil genius, while he’s just a collector/archivist of sorts. But hey, in this case, I want to know what the fuck happened to him. Where is he, now?
*
5) The End!
A-ah, here is the name of another supernatural shit! This one is called the End, but who or what it is? Mary Keay says “I could never truly serve it - I just don’t find death that interesting”, so the End is death, I suppose. Could it be the same from “Cheating Death” (MAG 29)? It wasn’t exactly a person, but more of a force that took different people. However, we also found out that these supernatural shits can be concepts too, so it could work.
Gosh, I’m so excited! We are starting to get more names of these little shits!
*
6) Mary Keay woke up and chose violence
In one statement, she:
insulted the Institute, by calling the Artefact Storage a “collection of mediocrity”
insulted Leitner by calling him “boring”
killed Dr. Tellison because she didn’t use her power for worthy causes 
insulted tea (which is probably the most outrageous insult for Brits)
insulted Elias’ lazy ass (“He’s not exactly big on action though, is he.”)
insulted the “fake Leitner book”
Sheesh, this woman literally woke up and decided to kill everything on her way. I stan.
*
7) A laptop!
Jon found Gertrude’s laptop and a weird key! More mysteries! More weird stuff! What does this key open? What does the laptop hide? No idea, but I’m thrilled!
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MAG 63 - The End of the Tunnel
Ah, so there it is. The Dark, Maxwell Rayner or whatever its name is. The supernatural shit related to darkness, that one.
And… it looks weirdly similar to the figure from MAG 3. Is Not!Sasha an appendix/servant/part of this supernatural shit? Or is it just a coincidence that they look very similar?
Also, is this what happened to Sasha too? Not!Sasha killed her by decapitating her shadow? That’s a very awful death, fine, but it’s also extremely cool. What a sick way to kill, so creative! Love it.
There could be a connection between the Church of Saint James and the People’s Church of the Divine
Host? Maybe, why not? After all, if these things can be worshipped, why not do it in an actual church? Best cover-up. Also, the priest took the camera from Miss Gallagher-Nelson, so it’s very possible he did it to prevent any photo of their supernatural god from going out.
Melanie King is back! I remember her and okay, it’s kinda sad her career is over in the “fake supernatural Youtube department”. Hey, maybe she can find a place here in the Archives! Honestly, it would be interesting if she becomes Jon’s sort-of-protege and he teaches her about his Archivist job. I don’t wish for him to die or for her to become Big Brother’s new food/body/whatever, but I would enjoy a master/protege connection between them anyway.
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MAG 64 - Burial Rites
A statement about a mummy that cannot die? Very cool and I love that it’s a nice variant of the trope: “evil mummy wants to kill you”. Rather than you, this mummy was a lot more interested in killing themselves and you can see their desperation in how they took the knife and tried to stab themselves. I felt some pity for this poor creature who just wanted to end their misery.
Considering we recently talked about the End and remembered MAG 29, I suppose this mummy is one of the immortal humans that defeated death, became death, passed the role to someone else and were left with a very uncomfortable immortality - an immortality that apparently goes beyond having your organs removed and your body being closed in a tomb.
Wow, just imagine how awful and terrifying it would’ve been, to feel your organs being removed and your body trapped in a tomb and yet, you still cannot die. It’s a super cool concept and I love it.
Awww, Jon and Basira are bonding even more. This time, over their mutual inability to be proper spies. They’re getting ready for marriage XD
Aside from that, Jon’s attachment to the statements is starting to be a bit concerning. At first, he simply asked for them, now he literally went to the police station because he wanted more statements. Are we sure this poor guy is okay? I mean, I know he’s not, but this weird “hunger for statements” is way more worrisome than some “simple” paranoia.
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MAG 65 - Binary
Speaking of this statement, there are a few things I really liked.
First of all, I generally enjoy “deep web-ish” digital horror stories that revolve around the contrast between humans and machines. Hence why, the story of a guy who successfully uploaded his own mind into a computer immediately got my attention.
Second, I liked how this concept was handled here. It wasn’t the usual “scary chat with the dead” idea, but we got a whole ass video instead, featuring a guy eating his computer one piece at a time. A video that keeps following you on every device forcing you to look at it in full. Very cool and very creative.
Third, this particular sentence from Mrs. Tessa: “I can’t stop wondering what it must be like to try and have thoughts, messy human thoughts, trapped in the rigid digital processes of a computer.”. I think it perfectly encapsulates this concept, the situation, the video and its distorted way of communicating.
Oh, so Tessa didn’t come to the Institute just to record a statement: it was Jon who “lured” her there, to get the tech help he needed in order to access Gertrude’s laptop. Glad to see this man is still very clever, despite his paranoia.
MY BOY TIM. MY PRECIOUS BOY TIM. He woke up, entered Jon’s office and decided that violence was not enough, so he used extra violence and:
destroyed Jon, by calling him “you pompous idiot” and telling him he should’ve been fired
destroyed Martin, Sasha, Elias and, if there were some worms, he would’ve destroyed them too. Twice.
I mean, not that he hasn’t a valid reason to be frustrated. While everyone (me included) was worried about Jon’s paranoia and stalking tendencies, no one asked him “Hey, Tim, how are you?”. The poor boy was literally left alone to deal with his own shit. Of course he’s frustrated and angry. Of course he wants to leave.
And it’s immensely tragic that Jon understands, he even offers Tim to leave if he says it… but Tim can’t. And Jon can’t fire him either. And I bet everything that it’s all because of Big Brother’s influence. Goddamn Big Brother.
Hence why, I will soon run into this series, grab Tim and throw him out of this place. My boy needs to relax, possibly in a huge beautiful spa, surrounded by people ready to serve him and give him all the comforts he needs.
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Tim deserves all of this.
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MAG 66 - Held in Customs
Two lines into this statement and I am perplexed already. What does that mean this is a “Statement of Vincent Yang regarding his claimed imprisonment by Mikaele Salesa”? Now Salesa is kidnapping people too? Wtf?!
But no, the truth is that Mr. Yang basically kidnapped himself by touching something he shouldn’t have touched. And even if Salesa told him “don’t go to sleep”, he did it anyway.
And if all of this wasn’t weird enough, he got rescued by Peter Lukas, who was basically trying to buy that weird wooden crate from Salesa, opened it up and found this poor fucker inside. Best rescue ever.
Jon might be the most paranoid man on the planet, but he’s also the most relatable too. First, he gives the perfect definition of Salesa:
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Then he reads my thoughts and anticipates me:
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Then he finds out Gertrude was trying to buy a Leitner! And she even managed to get three books:
a special printing of The Seven Lamps of Architecture, by John Ruskin
a copy of The Key of Solomon
a 1910 pamphlet simply entitled A Disappearance
which translated from writer to reader means:
more supernatural architects
a well-known book with a weird twist
a future statement
And yes, Jon is right again about Gertrude: the question isn’t who killed her but why. What did she learn? I thought she just wanted to say “fuck you” to Big Brother and escape from her destiny. But what if she was trying to do something different? I  don’t know if she wanted to connect with it/defy it/connect with another supernatural shit, but oh boy, I can’t wait to find out.
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MAG 67 - Burning Desire
Ooooh, a statement about Agnes Montague! Aaaaand we didn’t learn more about her than what we already knew: she’s associated with fire, she probably has some kind of pyrokinetic powers and she’s a supernatural shit - sort of.
This was (probably) confirmed by her words about having destiny. When Mr. Barnabas told her he doesn’t really have one, she replied with “That must be nice”: almost as if she has a very specific destiny to fulfill and can’t escape from it. Maybe because she became the body of some supernatural shit? And since then, she acquired new weird powers, but she also lost the human freedom of making her own destiny and being her own person. Once again, it reminds me of Michael and the importance of identity for some of these creatures.
Okay, time to recap the members of this Cult of the Lightless Flame for future reference:
Diego Molina, the guy who was in the hospital with Gerard (and died in a fire)
Arthur Nolan, Jane Prentiss’ landlord (died in a fire)
another unidentified guy (I bet he also died in a fire)
a short, muscular Asian woman, with a tattoo of a burning guy
Agnes Montague, who is probably the Lightless Flame. Or its embodiment
Also, what did the Asian woman mean, when she said Agnes could’ve been “released” if she did some job? What kind of job it was? Was it related to MAG 8? She felt when the tree was pulled down, after all…
There are still a lot of things to learn about Agnes Montague and this cult, so I can’t wait to know more.
One last thing about the cult: wow, Jon, dramatic much? I use names like “supernatural shit” and “Spider Gang”, you use names like “Cult of the Lightless Flame”. If I were you, I would’ve called these people “Fire Gang” or something similar. But hey, maybe that’s why I’m not the protagonist of this story XD
Speaking of Jon… he wants to visit the tunnels again. Sigh. Life still has so much to offer, Jon. Why trying so hard to get killed? If even Elias “Suspicious” Bouchard is telling you to chill, then you know something’s wrong.
But hey, I suppose Jon should do some stupid shit to end this second season. And what better way to end it, if not by waking up whatever terror is hidden in those tunnels?
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MAG 68 - The Tale of a Field Hospital
I said before that it’s a shame most of these statements “have the same voice”, so I was pleasantly surprised by the language used here. Mr. Russo uses a very elegant, poetic way of speaking, especially at the beginning: it conveys the image of an artist very well and it helps differentiate him from other people.
Here we are, back with John Amherst after seeing him dying/not dying in MAG 36. And guess what, he’s a supernatural shit as well. Everyone is a supernatural shit in this world.
In this case, he’s probably The Disease or something similar. I’ll call him the Disease, until I will find out what is his shit’s actual name.
While speaking of the powers, it looks like he gets infected all the time, dies and comes back to life. But hey, look at the bright side: at least he doesn’t feel miserable about it. On the contrary, he seems pretty joyful and he even jokes about being “such a restless man”. Glad to see he takes death so funnily. I wonder what the End thinks of this little fucker.
Was this book a Leitner? I don’t know, it seems like one. After all, the book is about the supernatural shit, so… maybe? I’m not sure :/ I hope we will find a list of all the Leitners or I’ll have to tackle the Norwegian motherfucker and ask directly to him.
Wow, Jon didn’t wait two seconds: as soon as he got the key to the tunnel, he immediately went down and got lost. Right after Elias told him to not do too many secret explorations and put himself in danger.
Look, Jon, look what you’re making me do: agreeing with Elias.
Luckily, Not!Sasha was lurking around like the creepy imposter it is and it seemed like Jon noticed something weird about her. Something small, sure, but still something. Will he find out by the end of season two?
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MAG 69 - Thought for the day
So we’re finally meeting, spider lady.
It took her a long time to appear but hey, I suppose that since she’s (probably) the leader of the Spider Gang, she was waiting for the right time to make her entrance.
For what I saw in this statement, she looks both fine and scary as fuck and, just like every woman in this series likes to do, she wakes up and chooses violence. In this case, violence with a side dish of “projectors” doing some magical weird circle.
Uhm… mood, I suppose?
The relationship between Jon and Tim truly went downhill, didn’t it? And I like how it’s addressed because:
I’m not the one who realizes it’s because of Jon’s paranoia - Jon himself knows it. He literally told Martin that working is all they can do together now. He proves he’s still a clever, well-written character.
Even if we feel sad and frustrated by this situation, we can also understand why Jon became so paranoid. And it’s because the story until now makes sense, the events have a logical progression and the development isn’t rushed. Everything happened for a reason and there was always a logical explanation behind it.
Even if we as readers feel like Jon did a lot of stupid shit, deep down we know we would’ve probably done the same, if we were in his same place.
About the last point, it can also apply to Jon’s growing curiosity. Let’s not fool ourselves: we’re also very curious to know what’s hidden in those tunnels. We’re scared to find out, just like him. We know that, last time Jon went down there, some supernatural shit (which I suppose is not Michael?) told him to go away. He knows that too.
But hey, I suppose there’s a reason why curiosity is one of mankind’s strongest aspects. We are all curious and we all would do stupid shit just to satisfy it.
And if some of us maybe won’t go down these scary tunnels, we can still understand Jon, when he says:
“I should just leave it. They’re right. But I can’t not know.”
I just hope this man won’t end up dying just to satisfy his need to know.
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MAG 70 - The Book of the Dead
Once again, we have a concept already explored in other works. But, again, I love how it’s handled here: some creative choices are wonderful and I need to give them the attention they deserve.
First of all, how the book looks very old at the start and gets progressively “newer” over the centuries. It gives it more “personality”, you know? And it’s more fitting for the concept of a book that talks about the death of several people throughout history.
Second, it’s a very specific book, that illustrates violent deaths only. This makes it more convincing too, because not everyone in the world dies of violent death.
Third, I adore the idea that death changes according to your own choices. The exact moment Mr. Murray decided not to visit Lancashire, his death changed. Every time he made a new decision, his death changed. And it drew closer too, which contributes to the sense of dread and inevitability typical of death.
And speaking of the inevitability of death, I like how it portrays it here. Death is inevitable, not because “your fate is predetermined and you cannot escape from it”: you can actually change it. But death will still be there. Even if there is no predetermined destiny, death is still inescapable. Great way to convey this concept, loved it so much.
I also found particularly fascinating how, after Mr Murray’s death, there were white pages. Why? Is it because he didn’t pass the book to someone else? Is it because he tried to destroy it? Where is this book now? Are the pages still white?
Yes, Jon, I know. I also thought this Norwegian motherfucker called Jurgen Leitner was the author of these books and yes, I also thought he sold his soul/talked to Big Brother and gained some magical creepy powers. But nope, Leitner is just a guy who took all these books and put them together because… I don’t know, I suppose he woke up one day and said “violence is not enough, I want to see the world burn”. This absolute fucker.
And speaking of more books, it looks like we lost Gertrude’s copy of The Key of Salomon. I suppose she didn’t want to see the world burn, but just this book. But why? Uuuurgh, there are so many juicy mysteries and still so few answers!
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In conclusion
I suppose the only real answer we got here is that Leitner is an even bigger imposter than Not!Sasha, because he tricked us into believing he was some kind of genius/powerful entity, while he’s actually just a collector. He’s still a creepy collector and it’s thanks to him we know about these books, but still. Not cool pretending to be more than you are, man. Not cool.
We also learned more about the End (and yes, I suppose The Book of Dead is theirs) and I finally met the spider lady. These little supernatural shits are introducing themselves one by one and I’m thrilled to see more of them, but I’m also asking myself: how will Mr. Sims (TMA’s author) handle all of these characters? Usually, the more characters you have, the more difficult is to handle them all and give each of them a distinct personality/characterization. I hope he has clear plans, because I have high expectations and want to see what his writing choices will be.
Gosh, next week season 2 will end and oh boy, am I scared. Jon is still paranoid, the relationships are all over the place, Not!Sasha is still an imposter and there is a suspicious lack of Michaels. Where are they? Will my Best Boyo come back from the war (he didn’t want to take part in)? Will everyone keep waking up and choosing violence? We will find out next week, I suppose.
>> Next post
(How about a coffee? ☕)
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TAGLIST:
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thoughtportal · 10 months ago
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'Megalopolis' is a piece of s—t
SFGATE columnist Drew Magary begs you not to see Francis Ford Coppola's new film
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This is not a review. This is a warning. If I gave Francis Ford Coppola’s “Megalopolis” a standard movie review and told you that it was an incoherent mess on par with “Rebel Moon” (which it is), your fanboy reflexes would kick and you’d write me off. You’d take me as just another pair of glasses dead set on panning a movie just to bolster their art cred. I hate critics like that, and so do you.
So I’m telling you this not as a reviewer, but as a friend: Do not see this movie. It is a piece of s—t.
You’ve been warned various times already. You were warned when the Guardian reported this spring that crew members on “Megalopolis” described its making, paid for entirely by Coppola thanks to his fortune in winemaking, as a “train wreck.” You were warned when that same article leveled allegations that the old man would sexually harass female crew members (barf) and burn hours of shooting time just hanging out and smoking weed instead of working (OK I respect it). Coppola has denied the allegations, and has sued Variety for its own investigation into his reported wrongdoing. In its introduction, the written complaint in that suit includes the sentence, “Some people are jealous and resentful of genius.” Go ahead and take that sentence as a warning, too.
Because Coppola has been running defense for this film basically ever since it wrapped. Lionsgate, the only studio willing to distribute Coppola’s vanity project, tried to get ahead of the damage by releasing a trailer larded with critical barbs that had been levied against Coppola’s old masterpieces, quotes that turned out to be fabricated.
But perhaps those warnings haven’t been enough. Perhaps, like me, you keep a soft spot in your heart for Coppola, a member of the auteur revolution who made a string of masterpieces through the ’70s and ’80s, but has made none since. Perhaps, like me, you were drawn in by a cast that includes Adam Driver, Aubrey Plaza, Dustin Hoffman, the god Giancarlo Esposito and other luminaries. And perhaps, like me, you’re so worn out by corporate filmmaking that you’re down with any movie that showcases pure artistic ambition, even if the end result is a misfire. Maybe this thing is a disaster, but maybe that’s the fun of it, yeah? Like gawking at a car wreck?
Wrong. This movie is unwatchable. It deserves to live in infamy, with its title acting as shorthand for any multimillion-dollar flop borne out of monstrous ego. I took a bullet watching “Megalopolis” for you. An actual bullet would have been kinder.
I’ll give you the details as best as I can manage. “Megalopolis” — oh I’m sorry, “Megalopolis: A Fable” — is Coppola’s attempt to portray near-future America as Ancient Rome. And brother, he is NOT subtle about it. He renames New York as New Rome. He gives every male actor a Caesar cut. He throws in engraved title cards throughout the movie that look like the menu of an SNES game. He turns Madison Square Garden into the Coliseum and uses it for an extended bacchanalia scene that goes on longer than a Catholic wedding. And he dresses up Shia LaBeouf, a talented actor whose face I never want to see again, in toga drag. Why is Shia in drag? What’s his character up to? Please don’t expect answers to any of that.
Here is the plot, as best as I can divine it. Driver plays Cesar Catilina, who runs the Design Authority of New Rome, which has its own police force for some reason. We know that Cesar is an architect, because the posters for “Megalopolis” all show Driver holding a magic T-square. We do not actually see him use that T-square in this movie. In fact, we don’t see him doing any nuts-and-bolts design work of any kind. This is because Cesar’s real occupation is Godfather of New Rome. He somehow has more influence in New Rome than the city’s mayor (Esposito), ANDhe has the power to stop time. How he acquired this ability is never explained. In fact, the movie gives Cesar this power for virtually zero narrative purpose.
Cesar is tortured. His wife has died, and Cesar is mourning her by doing lots of blow and sleeping with salacious TV reporter Wow Platinum, played by Aubrey Plaza. Turning Aubrey Plaza blonde is one of many crimes that Coppola perpetrates in this film. Now, Wow Platinum has some skeezy motives of her own (she’s a gold digger), so Cesar is wary.
He also has beef with Mayor Cicero, who apparently tried to implicate Cesar in his wife’s death, and who is working to prevent Cesar’s Design Authority from building Megalopolis, the architect’s vision of a future city. None of this is explained with any clarity. More important, it’s boring.
The rivalry between Cesar and Cicero grows more heated when the former falls in love with the mayor’s daughter, Julia. Julia is played by Nathalie Emmanuel, whose only direction from Coppola appears to have been, “act like you’re the love interest in a Michael Bay film.” Julia is a reporter (I think?) who’s loyal to her father but enchanted by this brooding, wide-chested rival. Is this love? Does the fate of Driver’s new “city,” which we know is the city of the future because it has moving walkways that glow, depend on them staying away from one another? Do I care about ANY of this s—t?
I don’t.
The plot I described above is barely discernible through the excruciating 138-minute running time of “Megalopolis.” I had to piece the story together myself while enduring things that no paying moviegoer should ever have to sit through. There’s that endless Coliseum scene, featuring a musical interlude from the city’s “virgin sweetheart,” who turns out to be older than she claimed (no!) and not a virgin at all (ZOMG!). In fact, she f—ked Cesar! On camera! Is nothing pure?
It gets dumber. There’s a scene where Julia, with the film’s incoherent score blasting in the background, solemnly reads not one, but THREE quotes from Marcus Aurelius in a row, giving the Roman emperor attribution after each one of them. There is Dustin Hoffman looking lost. There is Jon Voight looking even MORE lost. Driver is just about the only person here who does his best with the material he’s given. He acts so, so hard. Admirably so. Everyone else, with great justification, looks like they’re already embarrassed to be here. They know this thing is going to be a lemon, and act accordingly.
That includes Laurence Fishburne, in full “Matrix 2” mode playing both a chauffeur and an occasional narrator. That also includes Jason Schwartzman, who gets almost no lines in the film but shows up mostly because he’s related to Coppola. And it includes Plaza, who will absolutely be the best interviewee from this cast whenever Werner Herzog films a documentary about how awful the production was.
Oh hey, did I mention that there’s an Elvis impersonator singing the national anthem? That was random. There are also still photos of 9/11 (Rome falling alert!), plus an “interactive element” where a live performer in the auditorium asks questions of the on-screen Cesar as part of a press conference scene. It adds nothing.
There’s a jarring sequence where a little kid walks up to Driver’s car and shoots him in the face (credit where it’s due, Coppola still knows how to film a murder), but the bullet turns Driver’s right eye into a miniature galaxy before the wound magically heals altogether.
And, most importantly, there is Voight in a Robin Hood outfit, asking Plaza, “What do you think of this boner I got?” before shooting her in the chest with an arrow. That one’ll be a meme.
Save for Voight’s erect midnight cowboy, nothing else about “Megalopolis” will last. The dialogue is terrible. The color palette is nearly as incongruent as the music. The overdubbing sometimes doesn’t match the actors’ lips at all. The visual effects are terrible, featuring virtual sets that look like early design mockups Coppola never bothered to flesh out. Even the PROPS are terrible. Every physical prop in “Megalopolis” looks like Coppola either found it in his garage or asked his grandkids to make it for him. This movie cost the old man $120 million. He sold one of his wineries off to finance it. You could have shot a better looking movie with your phone.
And that’s really all there is to it. The only reason this film was released was because Coppola made it, and the only reason that Coppola made it was because he’s a centimillionaire. This is very much the work of a bored old stoner. I knew it five minutes into “Megalopolis.” I also knew that I was stuck.
Don’t let that happen to you. Don’t be tempted by Coppola, or by the cast, or by any contrarian review that attempts to kick off a reassessment of this disaster that it will never deserve. This movie is garbage. It doesn’t work as “so bad it’s good” camp. It doesn’t work as a “fable.” It doesn’t work as a noble attempt at a Big Statement. It doesn’t work at all. I’m sorry I watched it, and I will genuinely think less of anyone who finds it redeemable. There are plenty of directing legends, Martin Scorsese chief among them, who have great stories left to tell. “Megalopolis” proves that Coppola is not one of them. This man doesn’t know how to make good movies anymore. In fact, he doesn’t appear to know how to make any movie anymore. 
Before my screening, the studio hosted a livestreamed Q&A with Coppola, Spike Lee and Robert De Niro. Toward the end of that Q&A, De Niro, an outspoken liberal, looked out at the audience and said to them, “Just imagine Trump directing this movie.” Bobby, I don’t have to.
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vidjausers-fable · 2 years ago
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Pen Pals(Veneer X OC)Chapter 1
AUTHOR’S NOTE: Oh my god, I fell in love with Veneer and Velvet the moment I heard their silly little quotes and songs. I also have fun drawing them!? Anyway, this story is completely for fun, though it’s been a while since I’ve last written a fanfiction. Nothing is beta read in this chapter, so be kind if pointing out mistakes. Below is something I drew specifically for this fiction (though obviously it was inspired by the Barbie and Ken meme)
Also located on Wattpad and AO3. Chapter 2 and 3 are already located there, but soon will be here as well.
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Once they had been arrested, Veneer and Velvet were booked and thrown into prison immediately. Well, it was more of a correctional facility if anything. A place where they wanted to prepare young adults who had made stupid mistakes for the outside world. Velvet didn’t take the change well but Veneer made no complaints, believing that it was the right thing to do because of the crimes they had committed. All those Trolls they had hurt…It weighed on him more than it did his sister. Velvet received a harsher sentence compared to her brother. Veneer’s was smaller because his heartfelt confession helped save the Trolls from his sister and expose their scam right away. 
However, the two shared a cell in the correctional facility due to a bit of a crowding issue. Their rooms were split in two, one side for Veneer and the other for Velvet. It wasn’t the ideal living situation, but Velvet was the only one complaining about it. 
The siblings looked completely different than what they used to. With no access to makeup in the facility, their faces were blank and deprived of any makeup and creams, and both adored the orange jumpsuits that read “Mount Rageous Correctional Facility” on the back. Velvet complained about her looks and image on the daily, as if it had not already been diminished. 
Veneer sat at his desk with one of the books checked out from the Library, trying to somehow read and drown out the voice of his sister whining in the background. It was hard to do both at the same time so he closed the book with a loud sigh, “What is it this time, Vel?” he asked and spun around in his chair to look at his sister. 
Velvet was half laying on the bed, her knees hanging over the edge. She threw her hands up and around dramatically as she spoke, “This isn’t fair! They took away another hour of my rec time from me just because I wanted an extra five minutes to eat. Didn’t I tell them I’m a slow eater?” She kicked her feet around as if she were a child having a tantrum.
Veneer leaned against his palm, unimpressed. As always. “And how did you ask for this extra five minutes?”
His sister glared. Did he Really ask her that as if she had done something wrong? “I asked, like a normal person! DUH!” she retorted sarcastically, throwing her hands up. 
Veneer rolled his eyes. He seriously doubted that, but he wouldn’t say that out loud. “Maybe…just maybe Vel, you should ask a bit nicer,” he suggested and added before she could interrupt, “Unfortunately, the people here don’t like to deal with our attitudes.”
“Me? An attitude! As if! This place is worse than a shoe store with no branding,” she groaned. “And a restaurant without lobster.”
Veneer gave up talking to his sister and turned back toward his desk. There was no use arguing with Velvet. She was an entitled brat. She always tried to get the last word in, and it was impossible to point out her mistakes, or her flaws. In her eyes, she was flawless and never did wrong, and only did right. He’d dealt with that entitled attitude his whole life, and that attitude was the reason that he was in the correctional facility right now. It was honestly pathetic, but there was nothing that he could do about it except not give in to her tantrums and ignore them when they arose. Of course, it was easier said than done. She practically threw a rich snobby princess tantrum every day. “Why don’t you back me up anymore, like you used to?” Velvet abruptly sneered. Veneer could already see her expression without turning back around.  
“Veneer, don’t ignore me.”
Over time, Veneer had found ways to stand up for himself. It was easier when they weren’t next to each other, but also because he was over her and her dramatic antics. 
“Because.” Veneer closed the book he was trying to read, “It’s your fault we got into this whole situation in the first place.” He had to resist the urge to turn around and throw the book directly at her head.
“You didn’t exactly stop me when I kidnapped the Troll.”
“Because I couldn’t Velvet!” He argued, finally turning to her, “You took the Troll without even telling me at first. You put him in a diamond perfume bottle without a word. I knew it was suspicious when I suddenly caught you singing one day, or remotely have any talent. I bet if I didn’t walk in on you in your room that day with the Troll, that you would have kept all of that stolen talent yourself and left me at home with our parents, which by the way, I CARE about the fact that they disowned us. They get death threats because we scammed everyone, and can’t practice their dentistry anymore. They sold their business to pay off our debts, and you think they hate us? I know you hated them, but do you honestly think that they deserved all of that?” The entire ramble left him in a single mouthful it felt, leaving his sister appalled. He had so much to say to her that his words tumbled out almost all at once.
Velvet gasped, her jaw wide open and a hand over her heart, as if he tried to strike it. “They deserved it, Veneer, for the way they treated us growing up! They were nobodies and didn’t give us anything.”
“How did they treat us, Vel?! They literally did nothing wrong our entire lives! We had everything we wanted! You got a car for your sixteenth birthday and you pawned it off to buy a stupid golden ring! You don’t even have it anymore, you threw it down the drain when we became total frauds and got more money, which you used to buy worthless junk. Our parents are saints compared to how you talk about them.”
“Are you saying this is all my fault?”
“It is, Vel. It’s your fault we’re in here because of you. And I won’t change my mind about that.” He turned his back to her once again. Ever since they had been arrested, it had been nothing but anger between the siblings, bubbling over the tea kettle. Veneer swore that his steam was running out fast around her. 
“It’s your fault too! You used the Troll as much as I did!”
Veneer ignored her. 
“Veneer, you can’t throw all the blame at me!”
Veneer ignored her again, at least until he heard her stand up and stomp toward him. Right as he flipped around, she grabbed the front of his orange jumpsuit and began to shake him. She bared her teeth in anger at him, shaking him until his neck popped, “You can’t throw all the blame on me, Veneer! That’s just not fair. You used the Trolls just as much as me, so you’re not a perfect saint. Neither were our parents. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“What do you mean?!”
Metal clanged on metal and the siblings turned around to face the door of the cell. One of the Correctional Guards stood at the door, his baton against the cell bars, clinging back and forth until he had their attention. He glared at the two, though mostly at Velvet—the universal trouble maker. “Behave yourself Velvet, and stop arguing. That or I can extend your banishment from the rec room to the whole week. You wouldn’t want that would you?”
Velvet, still holding onto her brother’s shirt, glared at the officer, debating in her head if this was still worth it. If fighting her brother was worth the only freedom that they got in that joint. The two shared a long eye contact battle before she gave in, letting her brother go after shoving him back into the chair, and returned to her bed. “Whatever,” she snapped before rolling onto her side with her back facing the two. 
Veneer adjusted his shirt before looking at the guard, a bit frazzled and his heart racing. Even she got to him sometimes. “Whew…” Saved by the guard.
The guard watched Velvet and when he felt as though she was calm enough, looked to Veneer, the one he really wanted to talk to. He took out his keys from his side pocket and the clanging of the metal made the two perk up. “Veneer, your counselor wants to see you now.”
Velvet immediately interrupted, sitting up, “What about mine? Doesn’t she want to see me?”
“She would, if you would stop destroying her office at every appointment.” He stopped fiddling with the keys and glared at the sister, waiting for her to settle down again. He looked to Veneer and waited for him to approach the bars, as part of the protocol for entering and leaving the cells. 
“What for?” Veneer asked, approaching the cell door. “It’s not time for my appointment, is it? I don’t think it would be…” He sounded panicked. 
The guard opened the door. Veneer was required to step out and press his back to the wall with his arms out and palms faced down. Veneer was a low threat so only one guard was needed, though at some point Velvet needed four. He quickly locked the door because as expected, Velvet threw herself against the door and grabbed the bars in rage and growled. She even reached down to try and swipe the keys as they were shoved back into a secure pocket. The guard scoffed in her face and turned to Veneer, patting him down. The guard took his shoulder and pulled him in front of him, letting him walk where he could see him. 
Patting Veneer’s shoulder, he chuckled, “We really need to get you your own cell, buddy boy. Your sister gives me an ulcer everytime I open her cage. She’s like a dog who’s had everything handed to him, but still darts out the damn door whenever it opens.”
Veneer chuckled nervously, “Yeah…Uh, do you know why my counselor wants to see me? I didn’t do anything bad, did I?” He tried not to panic or ruminate like he used to. Besides, nothing he did was as bad as his sister…Though he honestly still felt as though he was a kid again, being sent to the principal's office, just multiplied by ten and with more consequences.
“I dunno, they don’t tell me anything. She didn’t seem mad, if that makes you feel any better.”
“I think it does.”
Veneer fidgeted his hands on the walk to his counselor’s office, guided by the guard. The guard opened the door and only shut it once Veneer sat across from his counselor. His counselor was a middle-aged blonde Mount Rageous person. She was prim and proper, and despite her strict posture and formalities of speech, she was a caring woman with bright blonde hair and honey amber eyes. Her office space matched the same atmosphere of her person. Everything was neatly arranged. There was a funky splash of red paint on the wall, pictures of cute animals under cheesy motivational quotes. There were also nick nacks scattered across the room. One of them was one of those solar powered bobble heads dancing along to no beat, sitting across from Veneer with a playful catty smile.
Linda greeted him with a warm smile. Veneer was still getting used to having someone like Linda to talk to. She always listened and never interrupted him, like his sister did. 
“Dr. Graham…Uh, why am I here?” he asked and the emotions immediately flooded in, trapped within from where he had been dealing with his sister all day. He sunk down into his chair, trying to hide, “I’m in trouble, aren’t I?”
Linda gasped and reached across the table. She knew that Veneer wasn’t a touchy-feely person, so she touched the desk right in front of him instead. “No, no, no, dear! Actually, I have something exciting to share with you.” She waited for Veneer to slide back up into his chair and sit properly.
“What…is it?” Veneer asked hesitantly. He expectedly leaned forward.
Linda bounced, her own excitement showing as she pulled out a folder from her file cabinet. Everything was so perfectly organized that it took no time for her to find anything. “Since our system runs on good behavior, and you’ve been on your best behavior—might I say even better than those who have been here for years—we decided to give you a huge reward. Now, we don’t just give these away to every patient here!” Her hand was on a document, which she pushed across the desk then flipped it so it faced him. 
Before him was a blank tan file cabinet folder. 
Veneer’s eyebrow raised. “What’s in that?”
“You won’t know until you open it. Go on!” She pulled her hands back and clapped as Veneer reached for the folder. He picked it up and opened it to the first page. He read it and frowned. 
Before he could get words out, Linda cheered and clapped her hands some more, “It’s our Pen Pal Program! We like to give these out to our top most behaved patients here. We were quite surprised to see how well you turned out, and how quick and well mannered you were, so don’t take this reward lightly!” She said and took the document back, flipping through the pages, explaining every single one of them until Veneer’s eyes couldn’t keep up with his brain. 
“Wait, wait…So I earned this?” he asked and put his hands on the papers, taking them when Linda let go of them. “What do I do with this? How does it work?”
“It’s easy!” Linda began to explain, “You fill out these forms and I scan and put it into the system. After a bit of Beep Booping on the keyboard, the system finds a pen pal that will be suitable for you! The system is surprisingly 95 percent accurate. When a Pen Pal is assigned to you, you receive their first letter and then write a response to them. After that, you basically send letters back and forth to each other. It’s very old school and the only part that technically plays a role is to keep your documents up to hand and sort out who your Pen Pal is!” 
Veneer was distracted by the exaggerated hand gestures Linda made as she talked. He shrugged it off and began to flip through the papers, looking at them carefully to make a decision. Having someone new and different to talk to sounded…different.
“If you fill this out right now while I still have you in my office, I should get everything uploaded and submitted within a couple hours.” Her fingers clacked loudly against the keyboard. Then she looked to Veneer and gave him one of her trusting, and warm smiles. “Is that something you’re interested in, Veneer?”
After looking through the last of the papers, Veneer took a second to think it over in his head. It would be nice to have conversations with someone from the outside world, considering he no longer had his parents. For once, he wouldn’t have a conversation centered around how did you get here? How did you get busted? Best of all, he could have someone to communicate with that wasn’t his sister. That was the icing on the cake. That’s what stood out to him the most. 
Placing the papers back down on the desk, he looked to Linda with a determined expression. He held out a hand to her, brows knitting together. “Pen, please.”
“That’s it! YAY!” Linda took out a pen from the pen box that was organized by type of pen, colors, and probably even ink levels. Veneer took the pen and began to read everything meticulously and filled out blanks while he glanced over the paper. Linda was quiet, but played calming and relaxing music that she knew Veneer liked to help him focus. 
The paperwork didn’t take long, and he finished it in less than thirty minutes. “Can you look it over and make sure I didn’t forget anything?” he asked, sounding timid as he handed the papers over. 
Linda took the papers and flicked through the pages at lightning speed. A smile crossed her lips. “It’s perfect, I’ll get everything ready for you and you should get your Pen Pal within a week or two.” She looked at the watch on her wrist. “Woo, look at the time. You have to get back to the cell for quiet time. Your favorite time!” She clasped her hands together. “Veneer, I’m so proud of the growth you’ve gone through these past months. You must have been eager for change before you walked through our doors.”
Veneer blushed at the compliments and rubbed the back of his neck. She wasn’t necessarily wrong. “I’m not used to all these compliments…I don’t think I deserve all this praise.”
Linda shook her head and placed her hand back on Veneer’s spot on the desk, giving him a soft and understanding smile. “Just because your sister made you fight for affections, and do terrible things, doesn’t mean you’re less deserving of love. Remember what we talked about, okay?” She leaned back in her chair. “Also, Veneer?”
“Yeah?”
“I received your report for transferring rooms and approved it,” she answered, watching as Veneer became brighter every second. “We just have to wait for a room to become available, alright? You’re next on the list, I promise.” She nodded her head. 
Veneer was disappointed knowing that he had to wait a bit longer, but nonetheless was happy that there was at least one person fighting for him. He nodded his head, determined before standing. “Thank you, Dr. Graham. For everything.” He felt appreciative of the woman, who had gone out of his way to help him become a better person.
A different guard stood outside when Veneer came out of the room, and nodded to the male. Walking in front of him again, he walked all the way back to his room. He felt an anxious pit in his stomach, knowing his sister was there waiting for him and already heard her voice hounding him to tell her everything he discussed with Linda, as she always did. And he didn’t want to do that. Sure enough, his sister was waiting for him with her hands on the bars, and once again the guards had to fight simply to keep Velvet within her cell. It was the same thing everyday, and maybe this Pen Pal program would help change things.  
Veneer was tired of this life. 
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therexasher · 28 days ago
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Sometimes All We Need Is A Helping Hand
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Paring: Sodapop Curtis x reader (M4A)
Summary: You’re struggling with fitting in at school, so you ask your favorite Curtis brother for help.
CW: None
SFW/NSFW
Word count: 2.1k
Requested: yes/no
Author’s note: Take this as yet another apology for my very long absence. Also, I’m currently working on a series for you guys so stay tuned!!
You didn’t fit in the crowd at school. Everyone bullied you, all because you were the “nerd” and liked things like science and chemistry. You even enjoyed reading, like Pony does. Thats one of the main reasons you guys got along so well. He read ‘Gone With The Wind’ to you, and you read some of the pages to him as well.
School started like any other day, you walked through the halls with your head down, not daring to look up. You wanted to make yourself as small as possible, and pray that nobody will see you. But of course, it didn’t work. Darren, one of the biggest bullies there is, (of course he is, his name is Darren for crying out loud), nudged you into a wall. You let out a yelp in pain as your shoulder impacted the hard wall. You winched and rubbed your shoulder a bit, while Darren and his gang of lackeys laughed and high five each other. You watched as they did so, which landed you to become angry, but you couldn’t do anything about it. You were weak and you knew it.
Lunch eventually rolled around. You were relived. Finally, a moment away from those morons, or so you thought. As you walking to your locker to grab your lunch bag, a girl tapped your shoulder. You flinched and turned around sharply, she jolted back at your reaction, and you immediately caught yourself, straightening up right away
“Whoa hey, sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.” She said with a smile. She was a blonde, and not your typical blonde, her blonde was light, almost a white color, her eyes were hazel and she had these precious cheek bones, and a beautiful smile. Oh yeah, she was pretty alright.
“It’s fine.” You said while looking down, holding your books to your chest.
“I heard you eat lunch alone.”
“Yeah, I don’t like the cafeteria. Too much noise.” That was only half true. While yes, you didn’t like the cafeteria because it was too loud for you likely. But the main reason was because Darren was there. And he sat at the same table, every day, no matter what. And you didn’t want him to see you.
“I get that. Would you maybe want to have lunch with me outside?” She gestured towards the doors that lead to some benches by the cafe. You couldn’t deny her, her smile mixed with her tone was enough to convince anyone. You betted that she could get a free drink from the bar when she gets older. You both walked to your locker to get your lunch bag, then you made your way outside to the benches. The sun was out, but it wasn’t hot, it was the right temperature. Partly cloudy with a chance of afternoon showers. Perfect. You opened your bag and began to take out your sandwich and digging in.
“So, what’s your story?” She asked with a tilt of her head.
“Hm?” You hummed, your mouth full of your sandwich.
“Oh, where are my manners. I completely forgot to introduce myself. I’m Ava.” She said, placing a hand on her heart.
“And you’re the “nerd” everyone talks about, right?” She did air quotes with her fingers as she said, “nerd.”
You didn’t like the word “nerd.” Although it did suit you, you felt off about being called that. You weren’t that smart, you practically had the same IQ as everyone else. You just took a liking to different things and that’s okay.
“I guess…” You trailed off while swallowing the last few bites of your sandwich. She sighed and got closer to you, placing her hands on yours.
“Listen, I know how Darren treats you, and it’s not fair! You don’t deserve it.” Her eyes met yours, and they stayed there. She wanted you know that she meant every word she just said. You nodded and smiled.
“Yeah…I don’t know. Darren’s been bullying me for like a year now. I’m kind of used to it.”
“You shouldn’t be,” she said sharply, “you should stick up for yourself. Put him in his place.” Ava didn’t move, she didn’t want to. Her hands stayed on yours, her eyes still staring into yours, and she smiled again.
“You have really pretty eyes, by the way.” The way she said it sounded like she was trying to seduce you, but in a more friendly way.
After lunch, the last class periods resumed. The bell rung and school let out for the day. Kids flooded the halls to get to their lockers and to the buses and such. You went to yours and packed the stuff you needed for homework and closed it. You walked outside, now the sun was out and hotter than before. You squinted your eyes due to the bright light and began to walk down the path to the student parking where your car was. Then, you heard a shout from across the parking lot.
“Hey nerd!” Darren. Of course it was Darren. Do I make a run for it? You thought. Will I have time to get to my car? You kept thinking. But it was too late. Darren was already striding towards you and he looked mad. Really mad.
“Hey fucker,” he shoved you against a car and pinned you there, “you were with my girl a lunch time, huh? Trying to take her from me? Well guess what, she ain’t going with a grease like you. So you best stay away, or things won’t be pretty.” You felt Darren’s hot breath on yours. Girl? Who? Then it clicked. Ava. Ava is Darren’s girlfriend. No wonder she was so nice to you.
“Listen man, I didn’t know she was your girlfriend, okay? She came up to me first.”
“You’re a fucking liar. Why would my girl walk up to a grease like you?”
“I don’t know man, ask her.”
“Fine. I will.” He let you go and stormed off.
“Ava!” He shouted across the parking lot. You didn’t want to stay anymore. You ran to your car, got in, started it, and drove off.
You arrived shortly after to the Curtis household, since that’s where you mostly stayed after school and in general. You parked your car in the driveway and got out. You could hear distinct chatter coming from inside. They must be watching a movie or something, you thought. You pushed open the door and saw Pony, Darrel, and Soda all watching a movie, with blankets and popcorn everywhere.
“Y/N!” Ponyboy squealed, he practically jumped up and hugged you tightly.
“Hey Y/N.” Said Soda casually.
“Hey Y/N, how was school.” You dropped your head a little at the word ‘school.’ You didn’t want to think about that horrible place.
“It was fine.” You replied as Ponyboy backed away to look at you.
“You don’t seem fine. Are you sick?”
“What? No. I’m not sick.”
“Then why are you fidgeting?” You hadn’t realized your hand shaking. Fuck.
You excused yourself to the bathroom and splashed cold water on your face. Calm down, Y/N. You’re home, you’re fine. You thought to yourself. You kept splashing your face in cold water. It actually helped with your nerves. You left the bathroom and sat in the armchair with the rest of them.
“You sure you’re okay?” Asked Darry.
“I’m fine, I just…I rather not talk about school when I first get home, okay?” You were seventeen, so school was a lot more stressful for you. But you knew that wasn’t why you didn’t want to talk about your day. You knew exactly why. Your eyes darted to Ponyboy who look really worried about you. You got up from your chair and sat down next to him on the floor.
“I’m alright, kid. Don’t worry about me.” You said soothingly as you ruffled his hair.
You looked up and saw Soda eyeing you. He had always been one to know when someone’s lying or concealing their feelings. There was no point in hiding how you felt when it came to Soda, but you didn’t know how to tell him. You didn’t know how to tell him that you get jumped by the same Soc almost every single day. You didn’t know how to tell him that you felt like a failure. You didn’t know how to tell him that you couldn’t stand up for yourself. You felt weak, dumb, wrong. So you looked away and tried to focus your attention on something else that wasn’t school or your bottled up feelings. Until finally, Soda spoke,
“What really happened at school, Y/N? You don’t have to hide it from us. We’re here for you.”
“Nothing happened, okay?”
“Y/N…we care for you. We just want to make sure everything’s okay.” You started to cry. They cracked right through you. Of course they did. The gang always knew how to get you crack. Soda was the first to reach you. He gave you a hug, a tight and caring hug that you so desperately needed.
“Everything’s going to be okay, Y/N.” He said softly against your shoulder. Soda was always there for you, he wanted you to know that he was. One time, you were skateboarding, and you slammed right into a pole. You passed out, but later everyone told you that Soda was there first and he practically begged the medics if he could come to the hospital with you. He loved you in more ways than one.
Soda led you into his and Ponyboy’s room, he sat you down on the bed and wipes the tears from your eyes.
“Hey, you too pretty to be crying.” He smiled and you did the same.
“Soda…”
“Hm?”
“How do I fit in?”
“Why would you want to?”
“Everyone calls me a nerd…and says things about me.”
“Everyone will have their opinions of ya, you just gotta be better than them, you know? So what if they call you names? I say they admire you from afar if they are calling you names.” He stroked your hair, he knew exactly what to say to make you feel better. You smiled and playfully punched his chest.
“I guess so.”
“I know so.”
His face was extremely close to yours. You could even smell the faint scent of his cologne, and the warm feeling of his breath hit your face. You blushed from the closeness.
“Can I ask you a question?” He said.
“Sure.” You replied.
“What do you think the purpose of life is?” You jerked back a little, but not too much as to where he noticed. Soda never talked like that, it was strange for you to hear him say that. You gave him a look that said: ‘Are you okay?’ He smiled and dropped his head a little then met your eyes again.
“I’m fine, it’s just a question.”
“Well…” You started, “I think the purpose of life to find what you love most, and maybe have a partner or spouse down the road.”
“Do you think that path suits me?”
“I think it suits everyone, Soda.” You pulled a piece of strand of hair from his bangs, which effortlessly fell right back to his forehead. He moved in closer and said,
“What if…” He interlaced your hands together, “what if our paths collide? And we become partners?” Your heart raced. What was going on with Soda? He never acted like this before.
“Soda…” Was all you could say, before he leaned in and kissed you right on the lips. Shocked, your eyes stayed wide for a moment, then closed, and you melted into the kiss.
He kept kissing you, letting you know that he’s desired this moment from the start. From the very moment you moved in with them. He only backed away when you placed your hands on his hips. He looked at you, face red and flushed. He was happy. Really happy.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-“
“No, it’s okay! I just- I don’t want Ponyboy to walk in.” Half true. Yes, you didn’t want Pony to walk in and see you two kissing on the bed, you also didn’t know what Soda’s intentions were. You know that Soda wouldn’t do anything without your consent, he wouldn’t you, never. But you could never be too sure.
“Did you like it?” He asked with a half smile.
“Loved it.” You replied, smiling from ear to ear. You’ve had a crush on Soda for a long time now, that kiss was what you really wanted and needed. And you can’t wait to see how far you both go.
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taxduk · 2 months ago
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How to Complete HS304 Without Losing Your Mind: A Real Story of Tax Clarity Across Borders
You’ve just made a big life change—maybe you’ve moved abroad for work, for family, or just to try something new. One morning, while going through your emails, you get a gentle reminder from HMRC. It's tax time. You start completing your Self Assessment, expecting the usual process, until a particular issue brings you to a halt: you’re not a UK resident anymore, but you still have some income from the UK.
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So, what now?
That’s when you hear about HS304, and someone says, “You’ll need to complete that if you want to avoid double taxation.” You Google how to complete HS304 and suddenly you're knee-deep in tax jargon, treaty articles, and residency clauses. It feels overwhelming—but let’s break it down together.
HS304 is HMRC’s form for Claiming Relief under a Double Taxation Agreement. In plain terms, if you’re a non-resident of the UK and live in a country that has a Double Taxation Agreement (DTA) with the UK, this form helps you claim tax relief so you're not taxed twice on the same income—once by the UK, and again by your new country.
Here’s how the process unfolds—just like it did for you, and many others.
Step 1: Understand If You Qualify
You first need to confirm your non-residence status for the relevant tax year. This usually means passing the Statutory Residence Test (SRT). You'll have to prove that you spent fewer than the required number of days in the UK, don’t have a UK home, and that your ties are now mainly in another country.
If you were genuinely non-resident, you qualify to claim tax relief using HS304, but it’s not automatic. HMRC needs evidence, and that’s where the form becomes a critical document.
Step 2: Start Completing HS304
When figuring out how to complete HS304, it helps to think of the form as your case summary to HMRC.
Declare your non-residence status: List the dates you left the UK, the reasons for your move, and your current address abroad. Be precise, not vague.
Explain your income source: What kind of UK income are you receiving—rental income, pensions, dividends? Clearly list these and describe how much of it is affected by the DTA.
Quote the relevant DTA article: Each Double Taxation Agreement has specific clauses. For instance, Article 18 might cover pensions, while Article 6 may apply to rental income. Refer to the correct article to back your claim.
Attach a Certificate of Tax Residence (CTR): You’ll need to get this from your current tax authority to prove you're genuinely a resident in that country.
Step 3: Make Your Case Clear
What HMRC really wants to see is transparency and alignment with treaty rules. Completing HS304 is like telling a story with documents. You're saying, “Yes, I have UK income, but as per the tax treaty, I shouldn’t be taxed twice. Here’s my proof.”
A common mistake is submitting the form with vague explanations or without supporting documents. Don’t just write, “I’m not in the UK.” Instead, include details—where you live, how long you’ve been there, when you stopped being a UK resident, and how the DTA applies to your case.
Step 4: Send It With Your Self Assessment
Once the HS304 form is filled out, send it along with your Self Assessment tax return. If you’re doing this online, you may need to submit it by post or as a separate attachment—check the latest HMRC instructions on submission format.
By now, how to complete HS304 probably seems more manageable. It’s not just about avoiding double taxation—it's about ensuring you're seen clearly in a complex, international tax world. As you learned, HS304 isn’t just another form; it’s a bridge between your new life abroad and your responsibilities in the UK.
So don’t fear the form. Understand it. Complete it carefully. And make sure HMRC gets the full story—your story.
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literaticat · 4 months ago
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The recent 21/26 asker here - was referring to this viral Bluesky thread
https://bsky.app/profile/sunyidean.com/post/3ll6zvvr26k2n
I see things like this all the time and it makes me worried I’m not understanding something in publishing or being naive.
For those who might not be able to read the link, so sorry, here's a clickable version but idk if you have to be logged in to bsky. (And I don't really want to screenshot it because I don't know the author and that seems rude/weird!)
Anyway, it's an author talking about how they have a big gap between books (2022 / 2026) and it feels like they are stalled/lack momentum.
I don't think you are being "naive" or whatever -- I just think you have a different experience than this writer, and different goals. And that's fine. Perhaps at some point, things they have said in that thread WILL resonate with you -- or perhaps not. Everyone's experience is different.
FWIW, in the first sentence of the thread, the author says: "I've been thinking a lot about my author career lately, and the precarious position I feel like I'm in." [bold/italics mine]
Notice the author says "MY career" and the position "I feel like I'M in." They aren't talking about YOUR career or YOUR position, or even actual peril that they are literally in, but rather a FEELING they are having about their own situation. It will be a relatable feeling to many, I'm sure -- but if it isn't relatable to you, that's fine!
It's true that in order to have a successful long-term career as a full-time author, rather than a one-off book every now and then, it's incredibly helpful to have a) a solid publishing team that wants to support you/your books, b) a loyal audience, c) a relatively regular publication schedule so that you KEEP that loyal audience.
If you have these things, IMO, it's easier to "get over" a book that doesn't do as well as you'd like it to. Because the more books you have, the stronger your track record generally, the more people you will have worked with and know, and there are more books coming so less seems to hinge on one PARTICULAR book, the books build on one another.
(Think about your fave prolific writers. Probably some of their books did poorly or are lesser-known, maybe are out of print and forgotten, and some are masterpieces that are widely read and, like, taught in schools. When you have a lot of books, ONE particular book just seems less important in the grand scheme of things!)
So some of the reason this author seems to be feeling like they are in a precarious position is because they don't necessarily have all these things: In the intervening years since their last book, some of their team has moved on, some of the audience has moved on/forgotten about the first book, etc. And they don't have a regular publication schedule because they are a slower writer, so they feel like they have lost momentum -- It's almost like having to reinvent the wheel, or having a debut all over again.
Another quote from them: "To progress upwards in this industry and not stall out or death spiral, you have to be constantly over performing." -- and I'd say, yeah, to some extent that is true, if maybe a little bit dramatically stated. But that's kind of like... capitalist society, right? A business is "supposed to" do better every year, that's how it grows, and the same can often be said for an author career. First book does great and earns out? You get another contract with a somewhat bigger advance. That book does terrific? Your next advance is bigger. ETC. That's moving upward, and that's probably the goal if you are trying to do this in a long-term way.
(Just like in a day job the "goal" for many is to get promoted, get raises, etc etc -- that doesn't HAVE to be your goal. But if it IS your goal, then yes, exceeding expectations is never a bad thing!)
I'm not saying it's FAIR to expect authors to "spin straw into gold" with every book -- and I don't really think that editors/agents/etc expect that, in reality -- but it is true that the best way to progress UPWARD in the industry and not stall out is to have a string of successful books. (Kinda stands to reason, no?) And if you DON'T have that, you might well feel like you are being judged harshly or there is undue pressure on you.
(Again, I do think much of this pressure is coming from authors themselves, not from "the industry" as such -- but it's still not a great feeling!)
Here's some harsh truth: Most of the people who want to be writers will never even finish a book. Most of the people who finish a draft won't learn their craft or go through the steps to revise it. Most of the people who DO revise and query won't get an agent or get published, because they will give up first.
And MANY of the people who do get published will not become successful full-time writers and stay in the industry forever. They'll publish a book, or a few books, and then move on. It's hard to make a living as a creator! It's hard to feel like you need to woo an audience and "keep up with the market" and reinvent yourself as time moves forward! It's hard to have pressure to create more books and sell more books! (Hell, it was hard enough to do the FIRST one, right?)
This is not for everyone. This is not for MOST people, in fact.
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